The Marriage Series....uh-ho...

We have begun a sermon series at church on marriage. I willingly admit that I am a member of the group which my pastor describes as "Divorced, with no intentions of ever marrying again". I also fully acknowledge that God may have other plans for me, and after I run for a while, I'll likely come around to His idea. But, for the time being, in this season of life as Mom-to-a-pair-of-school-aged-children, I am content as I am.

As I sit in the congregation, or stand interpreting, I find I can relate to many, many things that are said. I also find myself thinking "OH! If only [my ex] could hear this...." Would he believe it? Would he accept it? I don't know...

I do know that the series will be life-changing for me. I can sense that already. I know there is much for me to learn. Much for me to accept. Much to examine.

Arriving home this past Sunday, I emailed some thoughts to a friend of mine. I also asked for prayer that my heart would be open to what He has to tell me, to show me, to teach me. I prayed the same, and added a request that I be willing to have those parts that need extracting removed, changed and replaced with something new.

In my email, I also expressed some nervous anticipation, as I was about to mow my grass. Mowing is one of those mindless tasks, with plenty of "white noise" that helps me more easily clear my mind of the to do list and the internal chatter. Mowing is one of those times when He and I talk... and mostly, I listen.

As I began, I repeated my prayer for a willing, open heart - ears to hear, eyes to see, and the ability to let go of my ideas and let Him change me as He sees fit.

I thanked Him for the breeze, which made the mid-80's temperatures more tolerable. And then, I shut up. Back and forth across my front yard, I walked, changing the clover-field into a well-kept looking yard, one row at a time.

The breeze kicked up again, brushing the hair out of my eyes, and I "heard":

"Linda, I do not want to talk to you right now about your most recent marriage... I want to talk with you about your first marriage...."

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Uh-ho....

Guilty as charged....

It will be a very, VERY interesting series. Pray for me....