Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween

It's been a little funny this year. No one around here has been really sure if Trick or Treating should occur on Saturday night, or Sunday night. My family and I plan to Trick or Treat on the night itself.

I have been praying for safety for Middle Tennessee this Halloween weekend. Our census at work is FINALLY manageable.... but that could ALLLL change in one Partying Halloween Eve Night.

May a hedge of protection stand between the people of middle TN and all the ill that could befall them.

May we have more "Treats" than "Tricks"

Saturday, October 30, 2010

ME? Seriously?

I will be heading on a mission trip to Ohio in a few weeks. As the days get closer, and it becomes more and more real, I find myself thinking:

"Uhm, ME? Are you KIDDING?"

We'll be going to a small, rural community with a couple of specific projects. I will be in the Deaf Ministry group. We plan to host a workshop, meet with some deaf people, and visit the Deaf School there.

"Uhm.... I don't even KNOW this language" (and I usually sign "clueless" as I think that...)

Everything has worked out well thus far - childcare, finances, work schedule.

"Uhm.... God I trust that you know what you are doing! This is so out of my comfort zone...."

Inhale..... Exhale....

Me? Seriously....?

Oh yeah....

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Day Off

My day off was delightful....

It was productive and uneventful - and went pretty much as planned (except for forgetting my daughter's gymnastics clothes....)

It's back to the grind for a few more days.... then... it slows down.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

A day of rest

This week, Thursday is my Sunday....

It is my day of rest.

Amen and Amen.

May it and you be blessed.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's All Good....

Another short one here today....

It's been a long, week.... surrounding myself with the worldliness of "The Land of Trauma", is draining - physically, emotionally.

My interpreter-trained brain is very visual now. So, between that and the things I've seen lately, I have a face for nearly every thing we do in class.

But... It's all good. I know that I am in the world but not of it - this past month actually reinforces it to me.

I have seen God's mercy and blessings in some situations... and I am grateful of His provision.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I've got no more to say today than

Thank You for Your provision, Your protection and Your love and influence in my life....

I am very aware of all of that - even in the midst of the marathon....

Monday, October 25, 2010

Nothin' but Gratitude

I've got nothin' but gratitude these days ....

I'm experiencing (more than enough) 0pportunities to work..... with co-workers that make the day (no matter how frustrating and harried) tolerable.


I am, have been, and hope to continue to be VERY sheltered from some of he goings on in the world. Some of the stories I hear day to day, are unbelievable....

The miracles that occur are equally so.

Thank You, God for your protection, and your provision....

May I never take it - or You - for granted!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

an so on.... and so on... .and so on....

Currently, I feel like the energizer bunny.... Seeing far more than I ever expected of the hospital walls. I'm thrilled though....

".... Today, I am working for the playroom windows...."

it's all good.... but I am going to seize the moment and get some rest before I have to return in the morning....

Thank You God, for the opportunity!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The "Well Oiled Machine"...

I have been totally impressed with the Elementary School PTO and parent volunteers of late. We were referred to as a "well-oiled machine" by one of the moms, thinking of the view from outside the door that saw nearly 60 kids come in to paint pumpkins.

And then, I got to participate again with the group of parents setting up for the annual Fall Festival. It is the PTO's biggest fundraiser of the year! And watching the pieces fall together, as the last minute arrangements were made.

I helped set up concessions. It's where I've worked the past few years. The process has evolved and been improved as we go.

The same is true for the other areas: Games, auction, spirit wear.

It is wonderful to be a part of a group of parents who are so willing to be involved in their school. To see them work together, and watch the event bloom before our eyes.

I'm just bummed I won't be able to be there when it's "live".

I've got it covered in prayer, though.... it's the bit I can do from work...

Friday, October 22, 2010


It's that time of year...

My divorce was final in October, so it sort of comes to the surface a little bit more. Apparently it does for my ex as well, because he is talking about it more. (which, of course, brings it to the surface a little bit more for me....)

So, as I puttered around the house, sorting through the stack of mail that had accumulated on my counter I finally stopped, looked up, and said. "Whatever we have to do to get past this, can we please just DO it and move on....?"

Apparently, that surprised me a little bit, because, I then began thinking about surrender. "Hmm... whatever it takes, I'm willing.... guess that's surrender, huh? Now what?"

I scrubbed a dish in the sink, and I knew "now what". "Ah.... those papers I've held onto for 6 years now.... Yes, Sir..." I fetched them, and the large metal flower pot, and the pack of matches. I sat on my front step, filled the pot with crumpled papers and lit the match.

I chuckled to myself as I watched them burn. The insanity of it all - having kept them for so long, and knowing I couldn't just throw them away.

I have to burn things like that. I could tear them up, or shred them, but then I would know I COULD put them back together. But this... I can't fix. I can't restore it.

The contents arise to the heavens in a stream of smoke, and all that is left is ashes. And of course, we know what God can do with ashes. I have seen it over and over again. Beauty for ashes. Isaiah 61:3.

I have a feeling we've only begun this "housecleaning..."

Whatever.... bring it...

Isaiah 61;3 (ESV)

o grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified

Thursday, October 21, 2010


One thing I have come to realize, as the sugar coating has been pulled away: In my marriage, I was never "chosen". Oh, sure, yes, I thought I had been - he did come back, after all. After we'd "broken up for good", he came back, proposed and we got married. But, I hadn't truly been 'chosen'.

That concept rattled around my brain for a bit as I walked. I wonder sometimes what lies in my future... It used to bother me, and I'd wonder why... not so much anymore.

Now, I realize, I HAVE been chosen....and if Christ Jesus is the only one, in my whole life, who ever chooses me.... I'm good with that.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


(for those of you outside of the medical - world, let me provide some background information: Debridement (De-breed-ment) is a word that basically means, you take a dirty, perhaps infected wound, and cut all the yuk out of it so that it can heal appropriately....)

OK... now that we're all on the same page....

Today, has been a day of debridement. A day when God has taken the knife to the old wounds, and started to cut out some of the old stuff that doesn't belong there - and inhibits appropriate healing. Some of the 'sugar coating' I'd added to lessen the aches and the pains of a failing marriage have been removed and the truth lays unobscured. *sigh* While time has eased the intensity of the emotion that surfaces, seeing more clearly makes me shake my head in disbelief...

What to say....? Nothing. There is nothing to say.

It is what is is, and I'm grateful to be where I am.

10th Avenue North seems to have summed this one up: "This is where the healing begins..."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Sometimes, I am just amazed.

I have a hard time believing the depths of denial that people maintain. Their lack of clear understanding. Their perception of "the easier road".

I am grateful that God holds my tongue most times when I have the urge to speak that which is not productive, useful, nor glorifying to Him.

I trust that if and when I am to speak, He will direct my words...

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Monday, October 18, 2010

Blessed Beyond My Wildest Imaginings....

I am realizing anew how very blessed I am..... on so many levels....

One I will share...

As I begin week 4 of 5 of working nearly full time at the hospital (and doing my other regular stuff...), I realize how fortunate I am to typically not be THERE full time. It's not that there is that awful.... Yes, I reminds me more frequently - thus intensely - of how much change this world really needs, and how desperately we need to - corporately - return to "one nation under God"....
But, more importantly, these weeks remind me of how fortunate I am to have a job (ok... jobS) where I can be flexible enough to still be involved in my kids lives.

Yes, I look forward to the vacation time I have coming in a few weeks, and I am grateful to have caught a quick nap earlier... But I am also grateful for the opportunity to put in a few weeks of increased time....

"....All that I've needed, Thy hand hath provided...."

Sunday, October 17, 2010

For the Birds

My kids and I went to Kentucky Down Under the other day... The day was, of course, too short, because we had other commitments, but the time we had there was priceless!

We laughed and laughed. Our favorite spot was the Lorkeet cage. We were given a medicine cup with some sweet liquid in it, and instructed to hold our arms out like branches, while holding the cup. As we stepped into the cage, the entire flock swarmed us. We each had 3 or 4 birds on us - on our arms, our heads. In no time, they had drained the liquid from our cups. We laughed and laughed.

We moved on to the kangaroo pen. We got to seem some joey ears poking out of a pouch, and got to pet one of the other kangaroos. Softest thing I've felt in a long, long time...

Finally, the other thing that got us laughing.... The kookaburra. We tried to trill some sounds out so that it would kick it's head back and LAUGH.

It did... twice.... and we laughed right along with it.

Thank You, God for a day of laughter....

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Present meets the Past

My daughter found one of my journals about 6 months ago in a box in the garage. "Can I read this?" she asked? I'd put it off for a while. I wanted to read it first. I'd flipped through a few pages "Today I had girl scouts. It was fun." was the gist if it.

It was 1978. I was eleven.

She asked again this week. I agreed. She picked it up and tucked it under her arm as we headed toward the car.

About 15 minutes into her silent reading, she spoke. "Mom. You wrote some *bad*words....." "really?" I said. I was a pretty "benign" kid, so I was curious. "What did I write?"

There was that I-am-NOT-going-to-say-THAT silence. "What letter did it start with?" I asked. "A...." she said. "Is it followed by a couple of S's?" I asked. "uh-huh...."

My son audibly gasped...

"I guess I must have been pretty mad, huh...."

"yeah.... at your DAD!" She said. (yeah, sounds right, I thought....)

More time passed. "I know why you wrote in green pen on this day...." "Why...?" "You were just starting girl scouts...." (she's probably right!)

More time passed. "You learning anything else about me?" "Yeah.... you did soccer and gymnastics too...."

It was kind of interesting hearing the perceptions of my daughter, looking back on my life - when I was just a little older than she is. Wow.

She did bring the "bad word" business up again.... which worked well.... It gave me an opportunity to let her know that was before I had learned not to say such things....

"Yeah.... glad you learned...." she said....

Friday, October 15, 2010

Fall Break

Well, my kids have returned to me, and we are beginning the "break" part of our Fall Break. :)

We've had one hang around the house and get things done day - I didn't get much more than a load of laundry done in terms of routine duties, but I did have another window guy come (better offer, thank You very much!), and redeemed a "free tune up" for the heat/ac unit that a friend won (and then gave me) from a school fundraiser last fall.... (turns out I need some duct work completed first....)

But, there has been more sleep and more downtime with kids - which has been enjoyable. We hope to pet some kangaroos before our break is done.

Oh yeah.... and I've got to get to the sewing.... will post a picture when THAT project is done...

Thank You, God, for some down time...

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Mine.... or His....?

There is a bright side to this extra work that I have been doing. Eventually, there will be a paycheck. I have been working hard at my goal of becoming debt free. It has seemed like it would be impossible at times. But recently, it has seemed very do-able. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And then...


I've known I'd need to replace these one day. As I look around - and realize hot glue will only hold so long - I know the time is now. (especially with the end of the tax credit coming....)

So I called for an estimate. I knew it would be expensive. And when the man came out and measured everything, and figured the numbers, he confirmed my suspicion.

"Coincidentally", my recent extra work, and my teaching work (that begins next week!) pretty much cover it. Wonderful news! (Yea! God!)

Except.... the path that I was happily on - my goals, my plans to be debt-free - has taken an abrupt turn. Apparently, we're not taking the direct route!

I know, once all is said and done, it will all be good.... but I admit to taking a moment (or maybe even a whole day or two!) to pout, and say "that's not what I wanted!!"

I have to admit - even though right now, I don't feel like admitting it - the first thing that I thought when I realized the similarity in the budgetary lines, was ".... All I have needed, Thy hands hath provided...."

Great is His faithfulness unto me... I know.

I also know that, bottom line.... none if it is "mine", anyhow....

Maybe one day, I'll accept it, so that in the future, I won't have to waste a day or two pouting...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Making Sense of Insanity

I had a lot of "ah-ha" 's during my martial arts class today.... and moments of conviction. It started with my voice cracking as I was going through the student creed. The emotion that burst forth was the same as the emotion that hits me when God has touched my heart with a truth. It's like God is saying to me, "that thing you just said or heard.... look at that!"

I did the quick personal inventory as we were beginning our class with jumping (imaginary) rope - "have I been 'abusive or offensive' ? " Well, certainly, there is always room for improvement at work...

We went through our class, and I finished with a few roundhouse kicks against the bag. In the bathroom afterward, I muttered to myself, "this is insane". And finally, it made sense. I would never be able to understand the things I have been struggling with trying to grasp. They don't make sense. Bottom line.

Along the same lines, many of them will never be "OK". Abuse, assault - against oneself or another - theft, lies.... will never be "OK".

So, as I head back into the world of work, I will walk forward asking Him to be very visible to me - and through me - in the events of the day.

Use me. Let me be Your hands and Your feet. Keep my mind free of the web of insanity.

Lead me.

(and keep me safe....)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Trauma Drama

It has certainly been interesting to observe myself these past few weeks. I have been working nearly full time in the Land of Trauma. Our census has been up and our manpower down. In an effort to help my colleagues, I've put in some extra time.

Ultimately, one question is whether it is the schedule or the drama that influences me more. It's not pretty. I have to check my attitude much more frequently, if nothing else.

The taking time away from home is definitely showing - Grateful that there are a few "home days" coming up this week! I am in need of some catch up and clean up!


I am also very aware of what a sheltered and blessed life I live. For starters, I HAVE a home to be away from. I have a job and can meet my basic needs...and even a want or two.

I feel certain, that if I were ever injured and needed a place to stay - or people to come help me in my home, they would be there. Probably, I'd struggle more with my own stupid pride and feelings of responsibility as they insisted on doing my laundry than I would with trying to find someone willing to do it.

I have never had "nowhere to go" and "no one to call". I have never considered prostitution a viable source of income. I've never "lost everything".

My legs - and arms! - work just fine. I can eat without difficulty, and get myself to and from the bathroom. I can use my brain to "think myself out of a box".

Certainly, I have experienced "the other side" of the medical profession. Being a patient is much of what let me to nursing in the first place. But even then, it was different.

It amazes me sometimes -and I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that there are people who are so hopeless that they attempt suicide.

I go back to another Mosaic song I interpreted on Sunday:

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? It's been declared from the beginning...." (It is aptly titled "Isaiah 40")

Wow. I walk out asking Him to show me where He has been in all of this.

And there is the error in my thinking.

I need to ask Him when I walk IN to show me Himself in the day - in each of these scenarios - and to lead me where He would have me,.... in the midst of the Trauma Drama.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Out of Eden...

I got to interpret for the group Mosaic today. It was the most fabulous thing... And they are the most fabulous people.

I got to interpret this song...

"Out of Eden" Rachel Harlow from Rachel Harlow on Vimeo.

It was interesting to be interpreting a song being narrated by God. It was good training for me if nothing else. I don't do particularly well taking on the persona of God or Christ. (Now, the person, on her knees, having messed something up, humbly asking for forgiveness (again) - that I can relate to!)

But, by the time I had listened to it several times - and sorted through the English-y poetry of the lyrics to get to the meaning of it.... wow.... I was blown away.

Since then, the chorus has been haunting my brain, playing over and over, sometimes spilling out through my mouth in song.

"I don't want [to be] out of Eden, forever....." either.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


It's time to gather again. The entire hour-long drive to camp, my kids asked whether their cabinmates and counsellors would be there. Each time, my answer was the same, "we'll have to wait and see..." They were both pleased and disappointed when we arrived.

But activities soon began and everyone felt back into the easy camp routine.

There is something special about camp. There always has been, there always will be. I am thrilled to be able to sit here on the porch swing overlooking the patio where my daughter dances the Macarena, and my boy sits by the campfire.

I remember my camp days, and secretly hope my kids love camp throughout their teen years. I would support their decision to counsellors if they chose ads well... but time will tell.

Tonight, we're all enjoying the autumn evening.

Thank You, God for camp...
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Friday, October 8, 2010


Timing is everything....and if not everything, certainly INTERESTING.

This past Monday, I missed my bible study. I expected to need to drop out, due to a change in my kids' Karate schedule. But, as one might guess, their class got changed again, so I would only miss the one week.

Tuesday, I got a work-related email, that, by most standards, is close to a year "late". It's something I'm still interested in considering - talking about and praying about. But wow, the timing is less than ideal.

Wednesday night, the rest of the Deaf Ministry was unable to meet. I had brought an armful of work to do while my kids were in their children's ministry activity. When I got there, I realized they were reshowing the Bible study video I'd missed on Monday. I opted to watch it.

Not once, not twice, but three or four times, Beth Moore said "This is about work!" She then began talking about "timing".

It didn't go unnoticed, of course, that had I seen this video BEFORE I got the email, it wouldn't have made as big an impression on me.

So... I'm curious to see where things lead...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Stating the Obvious

I just love it how God brings the people to me that I most need. He has surrounded me with people - face to face and online. And sometimes, they just speak the truth - that which is clear and obvious to most, that doesn't quite register to me on any significant level.

But then, they speak it, and there is this "ah ha!" Today, it was my friend Susan from Lila's Journey. We've never met face to face, but her blog and her art (check them both out at her blog!) have a special place in my heart. Anyhow, today she simply left a comment: "You seem like you're in a busy, busy phase now...." and I was like "wow... yeah... I guess I am..."

And I mean, COME ON! I'm LIVING it..... and it's busy. Yes. But it didn't really *register* until she "spoke" those words. (Thank you, Susan!)

And, irony of ironies.... in the midst of this, I was asked about something that I thought was never going to come to fruition. Still don't know that it will - but know I have to pray about it, and thoroughly consider what it means in terms of my time, my family and where God is calling me.

But... that will lead me into my next post.... and how amused I am by the timing of these events.

We'll have to wait til tomorrow to hear.... This Busy Girl's gotta rest.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I have much to be grateful for. I've been at work a LOT lately - which has it's silver lining, of course.

What it takes away from me time-wise, it returns to me in gratitude.

I have interacted with numerous people, over the past week, who have had unimaginable tragedies touch their lives. I believe there is always a gift in the pain. But I also believe it is too soon for many to realize this.

I ask that God be with each of these people - patients and staff- comfort them, guide them and give them strength.

And me too...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

< pause >

OK folks.... taking a day of rest.

YET ANOTHER day in the Land of Trauma.... and probably another at the end of the week....

I'm tired, and something needs to give for just a bit....

Inhale.... exhale....


Monday, October 4, 2010

Catching up....

Life continues to fly by. My professional cup runneth over. While I am grateful for the opportunity, sometimes some extra time there gets me behind in the rest of my life.

However, I am now caught up on everything but my housework. :) Thank You God....

Housework - and yardwork - come next.

I've had some time with God and some time with my children. I've had the opportunity to gather with friends.

Next week, I hope to have a few more hours on the water. God willing.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Land of Trauma

I have been spending much time in the Land of Trauma. Our census has EXPLODED since the weather cooled off. I don't know if the summer was just to hot, and now people are beginning to get out, or what....

I do know I have seen many people recently. Some are fortunate, and their lives will be inconvenienced for a brief while. Others have experienced life-changing events. Some will choose life and hope, and others will cling to the role of the victim.

I know for me, I always feel fortunate when I leave. For one thing, I GET to leave. For another, I am given some perspective. The "issues" in my life often melt away. Some of them, I realize are truly blessings.

I am grateful to be a part of this service. I am grateful for the perspective I am given. I hope to touch a life in some small way, and let You be seen in all I do.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Decisions and Pictures

I sit here with two computers in front of me.... My goal to work on a project on the PC and keep up with Facebook and email on the other. Well.... so much for the plans.

I got a phone call. From that point on, I found myself more fascinated with the screensaver on the PC than anything else. It plays through the thousands of pictures on the hard drive. I've seen pictures of my kids in all stages of their lives. I've seen infants and a little boy in a tae kwon do uniform. I've seen belt ceremonies from karate, and the girl dressed up and swinging around. Toothless and hairless. Doing the things kids do.

The phone call. Their dad. My son has decided to be baptized. I am thrilled for him. It is a great day. The baptism itself will be in December at his dad's church. I just can't wait to talk with him about it when I see him next.

Thank You God, for choosing me to be his mom.... and him to be Your boy.

Friday, October 1, 2010

3rd Grade Project Solution

Well, tonight - for the first time - I felt like we were cruising along on the 3rd grade homework bandwagon. Mind you, my plan-ahead type of personality would have preferred the dioramas to have been completed at least 2 days ago.... but, guess that's something for me to work on.

BUT, tonight I did find a fabulous asset tucked away in the laundry "room". A hot glue gun.

Oh, my what a life saver! (HOW did I ever get through elementary school without one??)

Granted, each of us said "OUCH!" at least once as we came in contact with the "hot" end of the instrument. BUT... SO worth the trouble.

Diorama's complete, two kids and a mom in bed before 10:15pm. How's THAT?