Monday, March 5, 2012


"Courageous" and "Brave"

Priorities and Change

"Fears vs. Dreams"

Endurance and Perseverance

Quotes on Facebook and verses from my bible

Conversations with strangers and prayers with friends

Questions from others and questions from within.

All coming at me.  All at the same time.  All from different sources. All tying together.

I wish I had been writing them down.  With dates and times and sources.

'Cause it's funny when this begins to happen.....  I notice a few things that tie together, and a few other things, that - at the time - seem to go together in a separate and different way.  And then another piece will surface and tie the two seemingly unrelated parts into one in a seamless joining.

And what I want to do is sit....and be still....and observe - and be somewhat amused by it all.  Take time to receive each piece. Breathe it in. Examine it. Incorporate it.  Feel it. Live it.

But there is life in this world that needs addressing as well.  Kids to raise, a house to clean, a pile of laundry and a job or two...

I know the two are not mutually exclusive - and in the balance there is time to do both.... wisely balance the Martha and the Mary.  The urgent and the important.

But in this moment, that often seems elusive.

I pray that it will come.  That I will be shown the steps and the path.

I pray for wisdom and guidance.

I pray for the piece that will bring these two together.

I feel like it is coming...

I pray for balance.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Sufficient Grace

So, as it usually goes, it's been a long and winding path, with bits and pieces collected along the way, that somehow become a whole, complete thought.... and a lesson for me.

It began mid-February.  I had noticed a tattoo in a picture (it's an occupational hazard after so many years working in trauma!) - it seemed to say "... the greatest of these is love", which - "coincidentally" - had most recently been a status of mine on Facebook.  It turns out my hunch was correct, it was indeed 1 Corinthians 13:13.  I thought at the time "Literally, writing love on his arm" - a reference in my mind to the non-profit movement I'd heard about a few years ago, "To Write Love on Her Arms".

Today, I checked out their website.  One of the links I found was promoting a new initiative coming soon, Fears vs. Dreams, which asks two very interesting questions:  "What is your biggest fear?" and "What is your greatest dream?"  I was surprised (and actually appalled) that I couldn't immediately answer either one.

As it often happens, the car is the place where He sits quietly with me and teaches.  I sat in silence and began my drive home.

My greatest fear.... hmmmmm.... (Do I actually have to *speak* it?)

I thought for a while, with different potential answers coming to mind.... "no, not that..."  But, I began to notice the pattern that was emerging, and the theme:  Being "enough"....which, of course, for those of you who know me, means so much more than simply "enough"...

 I shook my head silently.... "well, if that's all it is...."  Really?  My greatest fear is not being  "enough"? 

Problem solved. (Seriously!)

I will NEVER be "enough".


Not this side of Heaven.

And if that's all it is, there's no longer a need to fear it - I already know it. 

If only it were that easy.

But..., what I also know is that He is.

He is the "enough" that I want to be.

I think of all the ways I have tried to be "enough".... and all the ways I've tried to deal with the fact that I am not.

As I continue on, I "hear" Him say "My grace is sufficient for you....."

The tears spill from my eyes, as I think to myself, "Hold me, Jesus..."

And then a grin starts to form, as the rest of the verse comes to mind....

"...for [Your] power is made perfect in [my] weakness".

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.