Thru the Motions

We were doing our MMA strikes and blocks and punches, and the instructor reminded us not to just go through the motions, but get into the reality of the situation.

Getting into my car, as the radio kicked on I hear the words "I don't wanna go through the motions...." and I smiled.

I hear ya.

I don't want to go through the motions either...

Thank You, God for all of those people You have put in my path that remind me the life is so much more than getting by.

Help me to savor it. To live intentionally.

Help me to give all that I have to give, and stand with arms open wide for all You have to offer.

What we get used to....

I was amazed when I woke up for work Saturday morning.... exhausted. Typically 11p-4:30a was pretty routine. And then I experienced a few weeks of earlier bedtimes.... and a full night sleep. I felt good! Whoa... this tired thing, feels awful....

Same thing with food. When I am eating healthy, I feel good. I never connected the fast food or sugary treats (or hidden sugars in "healthy" foods!) to my exhaustion, headache, and general grumpiness. (Add tired and it's NOT pretty!)

Same thing with soda. I have had periods of time where I could drink liters of Diet Coke a day. Then, I've had periods when I've completely abstained (I'm there now!) In the midst of that, I experienced the "I feel awful!" 's that followed not long after ingesting one.

Same with exercise. When I'm regularly participating, I want to regularly participate. When I begin to skip - usually because I'm too tired or feel awful - I begin to make a habit of skipping, thus perpetuating the cycle.

Same with my relationships. I have been so stuck in what is that I don't realize until they change dramatically, or end, how they could have been better all along. Conversely, I realize how much I have missed a person's presence in my life when we reconnect.

May I live intentionally. May I set my feet where You lead, for You choose wisely!

Slow Down to Go Faster

Tuesday morning, I got to put that truth into practice. I had a ton of things to do - several with a morning deadline. I remembered what I'd heard again recently: we actually go faster, get more done, when we slow down.

It was tempting to rush through the morning: hurry and print out the letter, run it to the school, copy and distribute it to teachers' mailboxes all before my 9 am appointment. But then I heard those words:

"Slow down to go faster."

I stopped and took a deep breath. I made myself some breakfast, and ate it at the table (rather than in my car). I collected all the things I would need that morning -without running back and forth to gather the things I'd forgotten the first time.

Things actually got done. AND, I had a bit of time in the afternoon to prepare a little for Wednesday.

What a gift.

....In With The New....

A New Year begins....

Typically, we choose resolutions to begin the year, though I learned an important lesson last year. I had made several resolutions last year.... to lose weight, be a better mom, get more exercise, make healthy lifestyle changes..... You know... that kind of stuff.

What I realized is that all of them tied to one thing: Getting adequate rest. When I am more rested, I AM a better mom, I have the energy to exercise and the patience to make healthy choices.

I also learned that each DAY is new, and that living with my eyes and heart focused on HIM is really what I need each day. Everything else is secondary.... even the "being a better mom" part.

So, that is where I intend to set my focus in 2010. On Him.

May I stay focused and rested...

Happy New Year... may you realize how blessed you are!

The Return of Joy

As I sat for a moment on my back deck, I gazed at the empty hummingbird feeder. I recalled my fascination with the tiny creatures a year ago, and how abundant they seemed to be. This year, not so much.

Back then, they were an embodiment of joy. Their dance, their laughing song. This year, they were noticeably absent.

True, I had been less consistent with filling their feeder, but the natural attractants were no less plentiful. The bee balm and the rose of sharon bloomed as fully as a year ago.

I wondered if the lack of the presence of hummingbird joy paralleled my life. I considered that for a moment, but it didn't ring true for me. There was much joy this summer - packed into the hustle and bustle. I sat there quietly lost in thought for a while.

I caught the flash out of the corner of my eye, and followed the blur until it lighted on the closeline. YES! They ARE here!

I wondered when the last time I sat and actively looked for them. I couldn't recall. I remember taking a few minutes in the morning light last summer. They'd chase each other and welcome the day. I'd see them again as I sat for an afternoon moment of peace. But this year...? When had I sat expectantly longing for them to reveal themselves to me? I hadn't.

Perhaps joy itself is similar. If I'm caught up in the bustle of life, will it elude me? And, just because I don't see it right in front of my eyes, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Joy is in our perspective, in what we see, what we search for.

Do I sit quietly and expectantly, or do I move along wondering where it has gone? Are my days grounded in gratitude? Do I take time to search for the joy that I know is abundant in the world?

Seek and you shall find, He says...

Help me seek joy!

New Schedule ... YES!

School has started and the routine has begun! YES! I am thrilled.

While I love the laid back feel of summer, there is something to be said for some structure as well. Especially on a day that began our model for "intentionally slowing down". FAB-U-LOUS!

We got home in time for dinner together as a family, showers and an appropriate bedtime. Peaceful, joyful, together. Yup. Need this!

You have been showing this to me for a while... encouraging me to take more time together - eat together - simply BE together. I know I am just beginning this journey!

Help me to continue this trend... Yes, there are a few more things that will be added to the schedule that was this week - two genders of scouts, and Karate will return. Perhaps, some more work for me, God willing.

Help me to follow where you're leading....

Walking Carefully... Living Intentionally

This past week at church was yet another opportunity for God to speak with me. He had already gotten my attention through the music, and the words and actions of my church family. So, when the pastor started speaking, it was no surprise that the words seemed chosen especially for me. It was further confirmation of what I have been hearing through other people and in my own experiences.

I have been increasingly more aware of all the ways that I need to "redeem the time". Sorting through the clutter of my life includes the way I use my time. What things are there, but either don't enhance my walk with God, or distract from it entirely? They just gotta go. The things that are important in my life and in my walk need to be priorities. Need to.

Of course that involves honest evaluation and some planning. Living intentionally. Walking circumspectly. It was all I could do to keep my hands from signing "examine" over my heart as I sat in my seat listening.

Examining my heart, my life and becoming more intentional in what I say and do. Creating an environment that is suitable for "God-connect". Time to read, to listen, to pray. Time for service, time for self. Time to work and time to play. Time for family and friends. Time to rest and recharge.

May I walk wisely. May you walk wisely.

Thank You, God, for the reminder....


Ephesians 5:15-16

See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, (16)Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. KJV


Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, (16) making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. ESV

LIfe is a Stage

I remember the years of my late teens and early to middle adulthood feeling like I was cast in a play. My life felt like I was living on stage, performing the roles that were written for me. I had lost the connection between my self and how I expressed it. I lived by a list of "should"s and expectations that may or may not have been related in any for or fashion to what I wanted, dreamed or hoped for. They very accurately reflected what others would have me do - or like or dream.

Apparently, something shifted in the past decade or so. Without my even being consciously aware of it, who I am and what I do are pretty congruous. What made me realize it was a song. I don't even remember the song or the specific lyrics. I do remember thinking, "Wow... that has changed! I don't feel that way any more! I don't feel like I'm performing my life!!"

I feel like I am LIVING it. That is a huge, huge gift!

Thank You, God

In the World, but not of it

I was having an email conversation with a friend of mine, who had commented about my blog entry where I spelled out the two criteria for inclusion in my life. The question she posed was "does that include people?" My first inclination was to say "yes"... with the caveat that with people, I think it's very tricky, and I have to be very clear that I am listening to God and not my own selfish desires.

I do think that there are people in my life that are there primarily to impact my perceptions and choices about how I interact with others and the world. Some drive me absolutely out of my tree, and it takes everything with me and the love of God to "respond" rather than "react". Through the years, I have noticed that many of these "here-to-drive-me-crazy" people DO IN FACT have some very important lessons to teach me - usually about an aspect of myself that I'd just as soon keep hidden in some dark corner of my heart or mind.

There are also the people who are on the other end of the spectrum. Some that I would give an eye-tooth to spend a few minutes in their presence. With them I need to be reminded that they have not hung the moon. 'Tis God who has done that.

Somewhere in the midst of that is the balance. Both extremes have much to teach me - both are important. Ideally, they both point me toward my relationship with God.

"But, how then do we impact others?" she continued. There again is the fine line of being in the world but not of it. When I am in a "good place" - when I am feeling grounded spiritually - I can interact with someone who is not, and avoid getting caught up in their drama, or drown in their storm. It's when I have the clarity to know that it is THEIR drama and THEIR storm that I am best able to walk in peacefully and leave the same way. Without the God-connect, I am liable to get caught up in their stuff, and leave feeling angry, frustrated, abused and out of control.

It's also taken some time to learn to "not throw pearls before swine". Not everyone gets included in the things nearest and dearest to my heart. My pearls have been trampled. For a long time, I'd pick them up, clean them off and throw them back out to be trampled again. Sometimes, I am a very, very slow learner. The fact that I have any pearls left is no less than the grace of God.

So, "How then do we impact others?" I aspire to LIVE my faith. It is by no means perfect, but it definitely gets better, little by little, as He continues to "stalk" me, and I quit fighting for control.

It's funny, that for so many years I tried NOT to be "different". I wanted to be "a part of", to fit in...at any cost. As I get older, and my faith matures, I DO want to be different. What the world has to offer, I'm not so much interested in (on my spiritually grounded days, that is!). I want to live in a way that people say "I want what she has...."

And, when they ask me what it is, I can answer, "Christ".

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

Retiring the Cape...

Just the other day, as I sat quietly on the bridge, staring out over the water, I learned that it is time to retire the cape. One of the things I had been "pretending I not to know" is that I cannot do it all. Not only can I not do it all, but I can't even keep the current schedule. Superwoman, I am not. I need to pare it down a bit.

I've been thinking about this for a long time, actually. But thoughts and actions are two entirely different things. Apparently the fire behind me is hotter than the fire in front of me, because, I am now walking. I have started to cross things off of my calendar.

I want to live intentionally. I want to cherish the moments. I want to come home and not collapse and say "I cannot do one more thing!", while there are dishes calling from the sink. I want to do things because I WANT to do things - and I want the things I do to have a purpose or value in my life.

I want out of the rat race. Little by little, I am making steps in that direction.

The thing that is amazing to me. Thus far, I haven't really done that much, but I already feel more rested and more relaxed. There is some peace in knowing I have an evening at home; that we're not rushing off somewhere else. I feel like I have a little more breathing room. And a little more quiet time with God.

I am prayerfully considering it and listening for His direction in what else shall go... and I will wait for confirmation before I willingly volunteer for or accept any other commitments!

I can breathe! YES!!

~~~~~~~~~~
"When the fire in front of me is hotter than the fire in front of me, I will walk"

How Did I Get So B.U.S.Y?

I went to the Christian bookstore yesterday to get a birthday present for a friend's daughter. While I was there, I found a copy of the book "How Did I Get So Busy?" OH YEAH! I can relate. I grabbed it off the shelf, and tucked it under my arm. It was one of those things that reminded me of a guy I knew in college. He say "If you have to ask, you can't afford it". Didn't matter what this cost, it was coming home with me!

It's subtitle grabbed me and wouldn't let me go: "The 28-day plan to free your time, reclaim your schedule, and reconnect with what matters most". Sign me up. I'm there!

Flipping through it, it looks like a book I'll like - a few pages to read (every day for 28 days), checklists, 5 minute journal question and a minute meditation. I can do that.

I've already got the mental checklist of things that need to go - from my house to the church for the yard sale, from my house to others in the community, and from my schedule. (Ironically, mostly what I need is some time to sort through the rest of the "stuff" to get to the things that matter!)

During the few brief days when the weather was warm, I remembered once having the ability to just SIT out on the deck in the morning, the evening, or mid afternoon; doing nothing but watching the starts or the birds or the kids. I don't know that I would be able to do that today. I know that I need to be able to do that.

So, that must change. Losing my self and those things that are truly important to me and to my life to the business of a schedule or to do list, is not worth it! No way. Can't happen! They don't call it "Burdened Under Satan's Yoke" for nothing!

"Coincidentally".... the only thing on the calendar for today is "heartworm pill" (for the dog, people!) YES!

Thank You God!

The Gift of Accountability...

We have begun a new sermon series at church. "Coincidentally" and conveniently enough, the concept the pastor has been discussing has been coming to me from other areas of my life as well. His words are acting as confirmation to the other messages surrounding me.

He was was talking this week about "Cleaning out the Cobwebs": Of giving God the go-ahead to thoroughly search our hearts and lives, and show us the areas that need a clean-up. Those areas that we have overlooked - either incidentally or intentionally.

I liken it to allowing Him open access to my heart, rather than giving Him a tour. I have spent many years giving God (and my fellow human beings) a tour of my heart and my life. I'd steer Him toward the goodness and beauty, and... "oh, no, Lord....let's not open that door!" Little did I know that He was there to redeem, not ridicule, me.

I kept other people at that "safe" (NOT!) distance as well. In trying to protect myself from their judgment and my shame, I did not allow others access to the truth of my life. What I didn't realize was what a toll it was taking on my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Finally, I was in enough pain to allow one woman - and then another - behind my wall.

Rather than run out of my life, they stood beside me. They helped shine the light into the shadows, exposing the cobwebs thick in the corners. They helped me inventory the "stuff" that I had been carrying - much of which really didn't belong to me. I had just accepted it, carried it, and soon adopted it as my own.

It was this that came to mind when we had some reflective time as he closed the service. I thought of the series of people who have come into my life, offering the gift of accountability. Those who have loved me enough to challenge my erroneous ways, to hold up mirrors, so that I can see myself clearly, and to shine the light into the dark corners of my life. Those women, with whom I can be completely transparent. And, if they see me heading off the path, they let me know.

It was later in the afternoon, still reflecting on the decade or more of "teachers" and friends He has sent, that I realized how blessed I have been. My life changed - significantly changed - when I accepted the gift of accountability. When I quit running away from the truth, overlooking "little things", and started some personal, spiritual house-cleaning, my life really, really improved.

I thank You for the gift of accountability, and those You have sent who offer it.

Come in, Lord. Welcome. Make Yourself at home...and if you see a cobweb, please, let me know...



Galatians 6:1-2 "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Finding Balance, Joy and Restoration

I had an interesting conversation with a woman the other day. We were talking of the seasons of life. Specifically, for me, comparing the time when I was in graduate school and the present. A little over a decade ago, I was working full time, going to school full time, and attempting to resuscitate a struggling relationship. It was a time of survival - of doing what needed to get done to get on to the next task at hand. There was little joy, no balance, and no time for anything restorative. There was absolutely no time for God.

Fast forward to the present. There are days when it doesn't seem like much has changed. The week before Christmas, I was operating in "deadline to deadline" mode. There was much to do, and not so much time to do it. But then, I got a little perspective. It is different. There is Joy in my life today....and I do take time for restoration and renewal. In that, there is some balance. But, I want more. I need more.

Living intentionally is one of my goals for 2009. I am a 'do-er'. I will always have several pots on the fire. This year, I want to be sure that all of the pots have a distinct purpose. I don't want to be doing, just for the sake of doing. I want my actions and activities to reflect Him and His purposes.

I also need to be intentional about having my Linda-time and my God-time. Fortunately, they are often one and the same. If I am to continue to care for and serve others this year, I must care for my self as well. I must take time to "be still and know" God. I must quiet down enough to listen. My God-cup must be filled for it to 'runneth over' to others. I need time to rest, time to pray, time to exercise, and time to simply BE with God in the stillness of my self.

The things that I do that are unnecessary - or even someone else's responsibility - I need to relinquish. Pure and simple.

"Do more!" "Be more!!" says the world. Not me. I need to do less. I need to slow down, live intentionally, and simply BE.


Help me to see, through Your eyes, the parts of my life that honor and glorify You.
Help me to let go of those things that hold me back, limit my purpose or drain me unnecessarily.
Help me to know You. Really. Truly.

Happy New Year!

I like the whole "New Year" concept, though, honestly, I need to remember: it's just another day. Somehow, it's been given this big glorious entry, this big celebration. Yes, it's a new calendar and birthday list for my fridge. And, yes, I do have an idea of how I would like to live differently - focus differently - in 2009. But, I don't have to wait until the New Year to do that.

Every day - every moment, actually - were are given the opportunity to begin again. To start anew. To choose differently. At any point, I can re-direct. It's interesting to me, that I choose THIS day - New Year's Day - to do that. How often I forget that I am able to reset my attitude, or shift my behavior at any moment.

I do appreciate the (not so subtle) reminder to evaluate and set goals. It does help me. But I wish for it to be a daily inventory, rather than a more prolonged one. Remind me, Lord.

I wish you all a happy and healthy 2009! May Peace, Joy, Hope and Love abound! May we continue to be "stalked" as we make our way into this New Year.

Looking Forward... Looking Back....

I really enjoy this time of year... The hustle of the Christmas season has settled down, and it's nearly the New Year. The nights are long, and typically the weather is cool - both encourage me to settle in and reflect. It helps that I am introspective by nature, and I enjoy both "process" and growth. (Though, often, I enjoy them more retrospectively!)

2008 was long - and hard. It was a year of sleepless nights - which shouldn't surprise me. They say that whatever you do New Year's Eve is what you do all year long. For me it was true. The very first night of 2008, I was awakened every two hours.

My son had a friend sleeping over, and, like clockwork, every two hours, he came to my bedside. I'd settle him back in - sure it would be the last time! - and return to my bed. As I'd pull the covers back up and close my eyes, I'd hear "Pray for your friend"...whom He called by name. At first I agreed willingly. By the second (and THIRD) awakening, I said "You know... I DID. I'm tired. I'd like to SLEEP!" But then, I couldn't sleep. "... OK. I'll pray. AGAIN!"

And that's how I spent a good part of my year - being awakened... and praying.

Yet, in the midst of it all, there have been many, many blessings. Many new experiences and new beginnings. I began my interpreting. I began my blog. I made new friends, reconnected with old friends, and deepened established relationships. I was given a new church family that I love dearly. I was baptized in the creek - a very different experience from my sprinkling experience as a teen. But, as it should be: My relationship with God is very different now.

I could not ever say it enough: I am very, very blessed...beyond my wildest imaginings, I am blessed.

Yet, I imagine the New Year. I wonder what it will hold. I pray for balance. I pray for peace, and joy and love. I know that hope is with me, and pray that faith will continue to be at my side as well. Mostly, I pray that I hear Him clearly, I obey Him willingly, and I accept the gifts that He continues to send my way.

Deciding...

It's been on my mind today. "Deciding".... "choosing"... "living intentionally"

There is a huge difference between thinking about something, or wanting something, and deciding to do it. The difference between choosing and not. In merely being alive and fully living life.

Be it health, happiness, finances, or faith.

Deciding involves being intentional about choices. There are some areas that I take for granted. Some areas where choosing is easy, and other areas where I don't always see that there is a choice (there always is!). And sometimes, by not choosing, I am choosing (but that's another story altogether).

But, deciding is not all about my strength. Sometimes the hardest, but most appropriate choice is "surrender". To hand over my will and accept His. To give up my plans for me and accept His. To quit doing things as I always have, and accept that His ways are better.

Today I wish to choose. I don't have any true power over the outcome - I do believe in grace and mercy, and the steadfastness of His love.

I am deciding to live intentionally.

I choose health. May I live as He has intended.

I choose happiness. May I rejoice in knowing that He is enough.

I choose faith. May it stay strong in my weakness.

I choose to surrender... May I pick up my cross and follow after Him.

Standing Firm in the Midst of the Storm

So... couldn't tell you what exactly is going on here... but something is....

I feel like I am the target of arrows coming in all directions. So, I am doing all that I know how to do. Standing firm, holding tight to the faith that I will not be abandoned in this storm. Wearing the full armor of God, and breathing...

Be near me, Oh God. Protect me and those I love from the onslaught. Heal those who are sick. Help us to fully realize Your peace in the midst of the storm.

Give me the strength and the courage I need to rely fully on You....

And, yes, I WILL praise You in this storm....

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away


I Will Praise You in this Storm ~~ Casting Crowns

Traditions...then...

There is just something about this time of year that brings my mind to 'traditions' - just like it will turn to 'goals' in just a few weeks. So I think of the past, and the present, and of what traditions I am setting into the future.

As a child, Christmases were at my grandparent's house in Northern Virginia. My mother, her siblings and their families, all returned home for the holiday. My siblings and I were the only grandchildren, as our cousins weren't born until after we stopped traveling.

It wasn't a "go and be spoiled at Grandma's House" kind of thing (aside from the cookies!). It was more of a "children-are-to-be-seen-and-not-heard" place where our grammar and word choices were corrected...frequently.

But, it wasn't ALL bad. There were some fun things. The "road race room" for example. It was basically a storage / play room - but it had the "road race" table in it. This large table - built by my grandfather and uncles - stood about 4 feet in the air, about 12 feet long and 6 feet wide (or maybe it just seemed huge because I was small...) Nonetheless, upon it was an elaborate electric car and train set, complete with houses, landscaping, people... Clearly, my favorite room in the house!

There were also the coloring books - and the one year she had ROLLS of coloring pages. Once we were older, we dabbled with grandma's oil paints. There was plenty of time for needlework and other quiet activities.

The aunts and uncles were there, as well. Every year, we'd take a trip to "the city" - Washingtong DC - and go to the Air and Space Museum or the National Zoo.

But one of my favorite memories about Christmas at Grandma's house: Christmas Eve. Sometime before then, Granddad would get the tree, put it up, and place the lights. Later, we'd decorate it as a group - kiddos getting to throw the tinsel on, and I'm sure, the adults getting to disperse it evenly, so it wasn't so "clumpy".

By Christmas Eve night, usually everyone had assembled. After a meal at the long, long dining table (seating 12-15, I'd guess), we headed into the living room. My uncle, my mother's youngest brother, would bring his guitar, and it would begin. We'd sit around and sing Christmas carols. In the early years, Uncle Ken would let us help strum the guitar. As we grew, I brought my clarinet for my rendition of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear".

At the end of our singing, we headed downstairs - banned from coming up again until 7am Christmas morning.

But, as the clock struck 7, we raced up the stairs. Santa gifts, and stockings were unwrapped, and thus fair game until after breakfast, when the wrapped gifts would be opened.

Little did I know that much of that would carry forth into my adulthood... (to be continued)


Proverbs 22:6 - Train [teach] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (NIV)

Just Because I Can....

I was thinking today at work of all the times I've wanted to tell my patients - or my children - "Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD"... I mean, just because you CAN be pulled behind a pickup truck in an office chair during a snowstorm, doesn't mean you SHOULD... Just because I CAN max out my credit card doesn't mean I SHOULD... The examples of such irresponsibility are endless.

Well... the flip side never occurred to me, until tonight... I was at the grocery store, doing one of the tasks on the never-ending to-do list. I was walking through Wal*mart, with my ipod in my ears - music to interpret for church playing. I still hadn't really prepared for it - though most of the songs I know. My mentor had said that I could hand a song or two to her if I needed to. I thought to myself, "Oh, I can do it...." as I mentally tried to calculate the time I'd need to set my alarm clock in the morning to allow time to do the things I'd need to do to do it.

And then, clear as day, I hear the words I'd spoken earlier in the day: "Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD". I thought about that for a while. Hmmm... Guilty as charged.

Just because I CAN do something by myself doesn't mean I SHOULD. Just because I CAN care for two infants by myself doesn't mean I SHOULD. Just because I CAN stay up and tick off the items on the to do list one by one, doesn't mean I SHOULD...

Lord, help me to know when I SHOULD... and perhaps, more importantly, help me to know when I should allow others to help me.

Comparing My Insides to Someone Else's Outsides

I have been thinking lately of the great wisdom that has been shared with me over the years. One of the ones I have most appreciated is "Don't compare your insides to someone else's outsides". It took me a while to fully understand that one - and honestly didn't TRULY understand it, until I experienced it in reverse. Someone was comparing THEIR insides to MY outsides.

I don't even remember what the first situation was, I just remembered my complete and total surprise when someone came up to me and asked "How can you be so calm? I'm scared to death!" I looked her, amazed. "Calm? I'm freaking out here!"

Periodically, I hear it - "You're so together!" (I'm not), "You're so organized" (to a fault, but I rarely feel like I am, and yes, I DO forget things), "You're so strong" (I'm not, He is), "You're always happy" (I'm not), "I've never seen you angry" (you've just never seen it - I do get angry), "You're so patient" (with others moreso than myself, and only to a degree), "You're so brave" (not very often - when I feel brave, it's usually anger fueling that - if I'm acting courageously, I'm more likely "doing it afraid").

When I find myself comparing myself to someone else, it's usually comparing how I feel to how they look... and they ALWAYS look better than I feel! As I become aware of it, I hear myself saying "Don't compare your insides to someone else's insides!". I remind myself that we are all created with our individual set of gifts and talents - and our own struggles and weaknesses. There will always be people who will be more skilled at this or that than I am. The only thing that I can do better than anyone else is be uniquely ME.... the woman God intended me to be.

May live as the woman You have created me to be.