Cleaning House

There is no denying it. I have TOO MUCH STUFF.... and it's pretty darn close to driving me completely out of my tree.

My kitchen is cluttered, my bedroom in cluttered, my garage is cluttered, my shed is cluttered, my inboxes (yes, pleural) are stuffed with messages that can be deleted. My schedule is improving... YES!

Fortunately, the POD has arrived at church and I can begin the process of moving the boxes I've packed for the yard sale OUT of my house!

YES! There is hope.... now all I need is for the "throw it out" mood to continue and about three days of uninterrupted time.

Look out closets, here I come!!

The Gift of Accountability...

We have begun a new sermon series at church. "Coincidentally" and conveniently enough, the concept the pastor has been discussing has been coming to me from other areas of my life as well. His words are acting as confirmation to the other messages surrounding me.

He was was talking this week about "Cleaning out the Cobwebs": Of giving God the go-ahead to thoroughly search our hearts and lives, and show us the areas that need a clean-up. Those areas that we have overlooked - either incidentally or intentionally.

I liken it to allowing Him open access to my heart, rather than giving Him a tour. I have spent many years giving God (and my fellow human beings) a tour of my heart and my life. I'd steer Him toward the goodness and beauty, and... "oh, no, Lord....let's not open that door!" Little did I know that He was there to redeem, not ridicule, me.

I kept other people at that "safe" (NOT!) distance as well. In trying to protect myself from their judgment and my shame, I did not allow others access to the truth of my life. What I didn't realize was what a toll it was taking on my physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. Finally, I was in enough pain to allow one woman - and then another - behind my wall.

Rather than run out of my life, they stood beside me. They helped shine the light into the shadows, exposing the cobwebs thick in the corners. They helped me inventory the "stuff" that I had been carrying - much of which really didn't belong to me. I had just accepted it, carried it, and soon adopted it as my own.

It was this that came to mind when we had some reflective time as he closed the service. I thought of the series of people who have come into my life, offering the gift of accountability. Those who have loved me enough to challenge my erroneous ways, to hold up mirrors, so that I can see myself clearly, and to shine the light into the dark corners of my life. Those women, with whom I can be completely transparent. And, if they see me heading off the path, they let me know.

It was later in the afternoon, still reflecting on the decade or more of "teachers" and friends He has sent, that I realized how blessed I have been. My life changed - significantly changed - when I accepted the gift of accountability. When I quit running away from the truth, overlooking "little things", and started some personal, spiritual house-cleaning, my life really, really improved.

I thank You for the gift of accountability, and those You have sent who offer it.

Come in, Lord. Welcome. Make Yourself at home...and if you see a cobweb, please, let me know...



Galatians 6:1-2 "Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Finding Balance, Joy and Restoration

I had an interesting conversation with a woman the other day. We were talking of the seasons of life. Specifically, for me, comparing the time when I was in graduate school and the present. A little over a decade ago, I was working full time, going to school full time, and attempting to resuscitate a struggling relationship. It was a time of survival - of doing what needed to get done to get on to the next task at hand. There was little joy, no balance, and no time for anything restorative. There was absolutely no time for God.

Fast forward to the present. There are days when it doesn't seem like much has changed. The week before Christmas, I was operating in "deadline to deadline" mode. There was much to do, and not so much time to do it. But then, I got a little perspective. It is different. There is Joy in my life today....and I do take time for restoration and renewal. In that, there is some balance. But, I want more. I need more.

Living intentionally is one of my goals for 2009. I am a 'do-er'. I will always have several pots on the fire. This year, I want to be sure that all of the pots have a distinct purpose. I don't want to be doing, just for the sake of doing. I want my actions and activities to reflect Him and His purposes.

I also need to be intentional about having my Linda-time and my God-time. Fortunately, they are often one and the same. If I am to continue to care for and serve others this year, I must care for my self as well. I must take time to "be still and know" God. I must quiet down enough to listen. My God-cup must be filled for it to 'runneth over' to others. I need time to rest, time to pray, time to exercise, and time to simply BE with God in the stillness of my self.

The things that I do that are unnecessary - or even someone else's responsibility - I need to relinquish. Pure and simple.

"Do more!" "Be more!!" says the world. Not me. I need to do less. I need to slow down, live intentionally, and simply BE.


Help me to see, through Your eyes, the parts of my life that honor and glorify You.
Help me to let go of those things that hold me back, limit my purpose or drain me unnecessarily.
Help me to know You. Really. Truly.

Moments of Gratitude: Honest Conversation

I am continually amazed at how God works in my life. How people show up just when I need them to, or bring up something that they need to talk through...and happen to invite me to the task of listening and responding.

With those people the rules for conversing include:

"I will speak the truth, even though you may not want to hear it"
"I will speak lovingly"
"I will hold up mirrors and help you see what you are projecting to the world"
"I will ask questions and challenge you to work through it"
"I will not betray your trust"
"I will laugh with you, but not at you"
"I will hold the space and honor your pain and your sorrow".

With these people, I can discuss freely, and know that I will hear honestly what they see in a situation where I may be blinded. Following such a conversation, I realize again and again, what a true gift of friendship and of love honest conversation is.

Often, in the midst of such a conversation - one where I am holding mirrors, providing feedback and helping to 'process' - I am reminded of something that I need to hear. Ironically enough, out of my own mouth.

In helping and loving another, I am helped and loved in return.

Thank you God for honest conversation.

Deep Cleaning

It was an evening of "deep cleaning". The kids were away, and I was steam cleaning my carpets. I had borrowed the steam cleaner from a friend of mine, in hopes of being able to get the house in top shape for the holidays. I had intended for it to be a day long project, but an unexpected (and now rare!) opportunity to work some overtime at the hospital turned it into an evening project. The first of several, I'm sure!

I moved the little bookcase in the hall and started there, turning briefly into the entry of my son's room, in hopes that this would be effective on the cherry-colored Kool-aid stain just inside his doorway.

I then headed to the living room. This room is well-loved. Kids - mine and others' - the dog and I spend a lot of time there. It's the major thoroughfare between the front door and the back deck, and it abuts the island where we eat. It's also original to the house, which makes it long past it's expected lifespan.

I moved the small furniture and miscellaneous 'stuff' out of the way, an turned to look at the dog laying in his kennel. He had tried to protect me from the loud creature that had invaded the hall and was moving into the great room.

I became aware of the life-parallel as I was moving back and forth over the cream colored carpet below my feet. Sometimes my life needs a "deep clean". Sometimes, when I do, I must over and over the same area - from all different angles - untangling the fibers of habit and routine, trying to get the stains out.

Sometimes, the help of friends - like the one who lent me the steam cleaner - facilitate the process, but mostly, it's something I must do on my own.

It's amazing to me, too - to see the waste-water. I am amazed - and appalled - at how dirty it looks. It's not like I don't vacuum routinely. There is general care and maintenance in my home and in my life. But, in "deep clean" mode, the day to day "dirt" gets highlighted - and hopefully removed.

As I finish for the evening - I'll repeat the process tomorrow or the next day! I am amazed at how pleased I am with the results. I am amazed how the work I put into it shows.

And then I free the dog from his cage. I witness another parallel. He seems less than pleased with what has happened in his life, as a result of what has happened in mine. Some of the changes are temporary - the furniture will be returned to it's rightful place once the floor is dry. But, it is noticeably different. I assume, by the way he sniffed around continuously, it smells differently.

He finishes sniffing around and goes straight for the cleaner. He bangs it with his nose, pushing it backwards toward the wall. When it refuses to be pushed further, he barks his disdain. He continues until I call to him, and beckon him to me, rubbing his back and his belly. "It's OK, Jake. It's a Good thing", I reassure him. He needs to settle down - the process has only yet begun!

It's a good thing... May the process continued unhindered!