A Moment to Rest

After a moment of work and a moment of class and another moment of work, I am taking a moment to rest.

Hope you all have a blessed day!

Balance

Little messages here and there keep popping up about balance. More. Less. Awake. Asleep. Service. Self-Care. Family time. Alone time.

I want to live intentionally. I don't want to be swept here and there by whatever comes to pass.

Opportunities keep popping up, and I must weigh the options. Is participating going to improve the quality of my life, or my connection with God. Is perhaps being involved going to minister to someone in some way? Is it the right thing to do?

Quite frequently, I'm finding the answer is "no".

I hear the garden calling - which is a definite "YES!" - so I must choose how to spend the remaining hours, in order to create some time to tend the earth.

As each situation arises, I must run it through the list of questions, to determine a yea or nay. Ultimately, the most crucial question must be answered: "Would You have me do it....?"

I don't want to go through the motions....

Times of Transition...

I see so many people these days in transition. I know of several between jobs. Others are scaling back here and there for a variety of reasons. Still others are making decisions to change aspects of their lives, to improve their health - mental, physical, spiritual.

I am not excluded from many of those groups. But, I am thinking more about those for whom the changes are unexpected.

As I hear them talk, I get that feeling deep inside. I get still and quiet, and excited all at the same time. I just know that being invited into their situation - even from the very periphery, in a "non-active", but praying position - I will soon see God's hand in action.

I am reminded then of the changes that have occurred in my life, and how mightily He worked through those.

I can't say that I would willingly "sign up" for a life-changing experience or two, but having been there and walked through the other side, I am grateful for them.

I can't imagine how my life would be without them.

Thank You, God.

Be with us. Help us to see You.

LIttle by Little....

Small, slow baby steps.... Ah, yes... working on my patience again.

It's nice to know, though that little by little things are improving. Breathing a little deeper, letting my shoulder blades rest "down my back" and not wearing them as earrings. It's the little things in life, you know....

There is much I would like to change in many areas of my life. Some will happen, I'm sure... Others, no way. But... little by little, poco a poco, I'm getting there.

Right now, the goal is sleep. Regular bedtimes and nights without child-ish interruptions, will make a huge difference in the quality (and probably quantity!) of my life.

Besides, trying to do anything but survive when I'm not well rested is counter productive. So, I will attempt to focus on what I need to do, and not what the world says I should.

Makeup!! WHOO HOOO!!

As if I didn't already realized how fast they are growing up, I was asked by my seven-going-on-seventeen year old daughter when could she have her own make up.

I had OK'd lip gloss, which she would wear from time to to time, and reminded her of this. "No, Mom. Blush. Lipstick... you know..."

Blush, yes. I do know. Lipstick. Ewwww. What a pain! For SOOO many reasons, not the least of them being "finding one in the drier!" I mean, c'mon. I've got so many other things to do besides reapply lipstick, and hope I don't leave tell-tale traces of color here and there.

I'm not a "girly-girl". My daughter is.

She'd begged to go to Wal*mart. I told her we'd look through my make up and find her something. And so, the day that started so horribly, ended sweetly.

She opened my drawer and started looking through it. "The first thing to know about make up," I told her, " is that it doesn't matter as much what you put ON your face as it does to TAKE CARE OF your face." I went on to explain that make up wouldn't cover up the lack of care, and that eating well, drinking plenty of water and getting adequate rest were the things that would really help her shine beautifully from the inside out. She nodded intently.

I dug through til I found a blush that I'd not used because it ended up being a shade too light for me. I showed her the how's and where's, demonstrating once, then allowing her to do the same. Searching further I found a sample lipstick color that was just about right for her. She put that on and grinned from ear to ear.

I reminded her that with increased privileges come increased responsibilities. She MUST wash her face before bed to remove the make up. She agreed willingly. (Score!)

I reminded her that it was NOT to wear to school or to church, for the time being. She went skipping to add her new treasures to her lip gloss collection.

I sat contemplating the words that had come out of my mouth. "It doesn't matter as much what you put ON your face as it does to TAKE CARE OF your face." The same is true with my life. It is what is INSIDE my life that matters. My care - or lack there of- is what will shine through, no matter what I place on the exterior.

The things and the stuff that surround me don't matter as much as how I live my life. There is no "stuff" that will cover the effects of a life poorly lived.

"Don't-Mess-With-Me"

I've notice that I attribute certain characteristics to different articles of clothing. I have a sweater that I almost always wear when I'm needing comfort, certain earrings when I'm needing some balance. There are the moccasins that I got when I was in New Mexico years ago, that remind me of the same bold-adventuresome-yet-quietly-soul-searching mood that I was in when I bought them. And then... there are these. These are my "don't-mess-with-me" shoes!

I've found that I've been wearing them a lot lately, after months (perhaps years) of them being untouched in my closet. Why? First of all, they have a heel. I'm fairly tall - "for a girl" - and I've spent decades of my life trying NOT to draw attention to that. Secondly, they "clack" when I walk, so there is no denying that I'm coming. There is no sneaking in and sneaking out. I am, without a doubt walking through life and leaving audible footprints. Something about that combination enhances the whole "stand-tall-for-who-you-are" attitude, and makes it undeniably real. In a "Don't-mess-with-me!" mood, they are most likely on my feet!

It's probably the the season I am in now. Being still, sorting through and sifting out the things that don't belong in my life anymore. Whether it be "stuff" or attitudes or events. I've had to stand tall in some situations and say "THIS is who I am", "THIS is what is important in my life", "THIS best demonstrates the place that God has in my life". The rest must go.

It's definitely a change of practice for me - I usually just slide into my old Birkenstocks, but, ya' know what? I'm finding out, they're actually pretty comfortable!

What are you pretending not to know....?

Saturday was a dream day. It was the first official day of Spring Break. The first day on the calendar with nothing written on it. It was a "no alarm clock" kinda day! Ahhhh....YES!

I took full advantage of the ability to sleep in! When I awoke, the kids had situated themselves in front of the TV and computer and were ever so proud of obeying the "don't wake up mom" rule! I took time to make them french toast for breakfast, and set some eggs in to hard-boil. As I was cooking, I was very aware of the feeling growing inside me. "Clean. Sort. Discard."

Oh yes - it would be one of THOSE days! THAT was good, I really needed one! On and around my desk are typically stacks of papers - mostly needing filing, or having something that I need to refer back to, or transcribe elsewhere. There are scattered, partially completed, "to do" lists (written on index cards), and other miscellaneous things that either need a home, or need to be returned to their home ("when I get time").

I sat with the first pile. Toss. Toss. Save. File. Toss. Shred. Toss. Oh yes! LOVING it. I was nearly dancing inside! There is hope - my ever-running brain will feel a little less scattered! Files were created, papers were filed. WOW. Looks good! Feels wonderful!! Order. Peace.

And then my eye caught some words on a group of papers tucked into the organizer at the back of my desk. They've been there for a while (like months). As I go through life, and find a quote that I like, or "gets me", or I have an idea for a blog topic, I write it down. In a "free moment", I transcribe the quotes into a notebook that I have for exactly that purpose. I've sat, looking at these papers frequently - multiple times a day - for months. Today, my brain connects the letters into a complete thought.

"What are you pretending not to know?" Oh boy. I look away. I try to get back to the papers I'm going through, but this phrase becomes an object at which I don't want to look, but I can't help but stare! "What are you pretending not to know?" (look away! look away!)

I think for a minute... I don't know....

....I have the feeling I'm going to be shown...

God, be with me...

Living Deadline to Deadline

There is something a little disconcerting about living paycheck to paycheck, or deadline to deadline. I am one who considers myself a "planner". People say I'm "organized", and multi-task well. Generally, I'd agree with them, but the past six months or so, I feel like I've been living deadline to deadline. Things are getting done, but just under the wire.

I like to start a project when I get it. I like to have a time line in place - it doesn't have to be in stone (any more), but I like to have it established at least generally speaking. And I like to have time scheduled for the unexpected.

And that is where I struggle with the "deadline to deadline" living. It's the same as paycheck to paycheck living. As soon as I feel I'm getting caught up, something else shows up requiring my time or money.

I spent my Saturday night doing the finishing touches of consignment sale tagging. I finished well after bedtime - and certainly after "winding down" time. But, I think... I truly think... that's it for a while.

I'd have to check the calendar to be sure, but I think the next "deadline" I have is my Aunt's birthday in 10 days. I just need to shop for a gift and a card, and send it on it's way. Oh yeah, and renew my massage therapy certification. Piece of cake.

I will take a day (or two) to rest, and be still, spend some time on my bible study, hang out with my kids - maybe even take a nap! By then, spring should have sprung and there will be a great adventure in the backyard!!

Thank You for meeting me in the details, for finding those "last five minutes" that I need sometimes - even when they don't seem to exist.

I look forward to my quiet time with You. Help me to be still...

The Calm Before the Storm

I have been blessed with a couple of (dare I say it?) quiet days at work. Life is about to become very busy for the next few weeks as I take on instructing a Clinical Rotation. It's a job I love, despite the early mornings two more days per week... Thank God for my "village" who makes it possible!

Fortunately, I've now had the opportunity to catch up on some paperwork and some "to do's" that had gotten piled up. I am grateful for that - there's nothing worse than starting a race feeling 'behind'.

I've been given - and taken - the opportunity to rest. It is the one thing I will need to focus on (and be reminded of) as I head off. Staying rested will be the key to success.

Looking at my (regular) work schedule today, I noticed, that "coincidentally", I am on vacation the week after the bustle of activity ends! It was a week I picked randomly to balance the use of my vacation time throughout the year. Apparently, it was anticipated I'd need an official rest period at that point. Perfectly timed. I love it! Thank You, God!

Help me find balance as the pace temporarily increases. May I stay focused on You, for there lies my peace and my rest.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

Finding Balance, Joy and Restoration

I had an interesting conversation with a woman the other day. We were talking of the seasons of life. Specifically, for me, comparing the time when I was in graduate school and the present. A little over a decade ago, I was working full time, going to school full time, and attempting to resuscitate a struggling relationship. It was a time of survival - of doing what needed to get done to get on to the next task at hand. There was little joy, no balance, and no time for anything restorative. There was absolutely no time for God.

Fast forward to the present. There are days when it doesn't seem like much has changed. The week before Christmas, I was operating in "deadline to deadline" mode. There was much to do, and not so much time to do it. But then, I got a little perspective. It is different. There is Joy in my life today....and I do take time for restoration and renewal. In that, there is some balance. But, I want more. I need more.

Living intentionally is one of my goals for 2009. I am a 'do-er'. I will always have several pots on the fire. This year, I want to be sure that all of the pots have a distinct purpose. I don't want to be doing, just for the sake of doing. I want my actions and activities to reflect Him and His purposes.

I also need to be intentional about having my Linda-time and my God-time. Fortunately, they are often one and the same. If I am to continue to care for and serve others this year, I must care for my self as well. I must take time to "be still and know" God. I must quiet down enough to listen. My God-cup must be filled for it to 'runneth over' to others. I need time to rest, time to pray, time to exercise, and time to simply BE with God in the stillness of my self.

The things that I do that are unnecessary - or even someone else's responsibility - I need to relinquish. Pure and simple.

"Do more!" "Be more!!" says the world. Not me. I need to do less. I need to slow down, live intentionally, and simply BE.


Help me to see, through Your eyes, the parts of my life that honor and glorify You.
Help me to let go of those things that hold me back, limit my purpose or drain me unnecessarily.
Help me to know You. Really. Truly.

Doing the Next Right Thing

I am definitely in deadline mode. And, somehow, they all seemed to hit this week. Papers to grade, a house to decorate. The tree is up, and one batch of my grandmother's Christmas cookies are waiting to be rolled in powdered sugar.

A few things will get triaged to next week - the Christmas letter and Christmas card mailing, wrapping the out of town presents, and sending them on their way. Preparations for my mother's visit. Volunteering at school. More cookies.

In the midst of the whirlwind of tasks screaming for my attention, I try to stay focused on the 'next right thing' to do. It helps keep me from being overwhelmed by the To Do list. Each deadline met is one more bit of progress. One step closer.

I also try to maintain some self-care - Reaching for a bit of balance, as life events are juggled in the air: A deep breath in... and out. Quiet conversation with God. Time on the yoga mat. A (short) walk with the dog. Focusing on gratitude - I am truly blessed. Asking for strength and endurance as I keep walking, knowing that He is walking beside me.

Little by little, as each task is completed, there is more hope for - what do they call it? Oh yeah... " a long winter's nap...."

Thank You God for the abundance in my life..... give me the strength, endurance to continue and the discernment to know what exactly IS the Next Right Thing to do.