Sunday, March 15, 2009

What are you pretending not to know....?

Saturday was a dream day. It was the first official day of Spring Break. The first day on the calendar with nothing written on it. It was a "no alarm clock" kinda day! Ahhhh....YES!

I took full advantage of the ability to sleep in! When I awoke, the kids had situated themselves in front of the TV and computer and were ever so proud of obeying the "don't wake up mom" rule! I took time to make them french toast for breakfast, and set some eggs in to hard-boil. As I was cooking, I was very aware of the feeling growing inside me. "Clean. Sort. Discard."

Oh yes - it would be one of THOSE days! THAT was good, I really needed one! On and around my desk are typically stacks of papers - mostly needing filing, or having something that I need to refer back to, or transcribe elsewhere. There are scattered, partially completed, "to do" lists (written on index cards), and other miscellaneous things that either need a home, or need to be returned to their home ("when I get time").

I sat with the first pile. Toss. Toss. Save. File. Toss. Shred. Toss. Oh yes! LOVING it. I was nearly dancing inside! There is hope - my ever-running brain will feel a little less scattered! Files were created, papers were filed. WOW. Looks good! Feels wonderful!! Order. Peace.

And then my eye caught some words on a group of papers tucked into the organizer at the back of my desk. They've been there for a while (like months). As I go through life, and find a quote that I like, or "gets me", or I have an idea for a blog topic, I write it down. In a "free moment", I transcribe the quotes into a notebook that I have for exactly that purpose. I've sat, looking at these papers frequently - multiple times a day - for months. Today, my brain connects the letters into a complete thought.

"What are you pretending not to know?" Oh boy. I look away. I try to get back to the papers I'm going through, but this phrase becomes an object at which I don't want to look, but I can't help but stare! "What are you pretending not to know?" (look away! look away!)

I think for a minute... I don't know....

....I have the feeling I'm going to be shown...

God, be with me...

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