Monday, March 2, 2009

Floods and Tornadoes

This certainly has been an interesting week. I've been dreaming of floods and tornadoes, as I witness friends near and far entering and enduring struggles of various degrees. Some are beginning, some in the midst and others reaching the end of their processing with "Now I'm free, Now I'm free!" (Lyrics from Sunday's worship, of course!)

As I interpreted the music Sunday morning, I found myself praying along with the words. As I signed "Savior, He can move a mountain..." I thought "You can move a mountain, please comfort my friend". As I signed the words to "I surrender all", I thought of myself and my on-again off-again (mostly on-again!) struggle to let go of the "control" I think I have in my life...(In my moments of clarity, I know that there is very, very little I truly control) Song after song brought person after person to mind.

Of all the songs, though, "I surrender all" was what I most needed. I can control none of it. None of it is even "my stuff". ("My stuff" is settling down! YES!!) But, it doesn't make it any easier to witness. Not that I would ever DREAM of turning away from it. No way! (God is at work!) I've been told that to witness a struggle is a gift: It makes me "uniquely qualified to speak the truth" of what I see. I'll try to remember that. Reframe it. A gift. Feels like.....a gift? (not yet)

I know with time, I'll have gratitude about it again. Feel honored to be a part of it all. But, today, I'm grieving... and holding tight to my faith that God is bigger than ALL of this.

Today, I ask.... pray for me, as I walk the line between loving my friends and giving them the space they need to process... and pray for them. God knows the details... He knows their hearts, and their needs. He knows the plans He has for them... plans to prosper and not harm them, plans to give them hope and a future... And I have faith, that whether they know it or not, He is right there, closer than can be imagined.... "stalking" them until they hear, they turn, and their hearts overflow with joy.

Thank You, God... for knowing and loving my friends..... and me.

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