Friday, September 12, 2008

Cinco de Mayo

Upon return from my quest to Chaco Canyon, NM, life turned on a dime. I had quit searching for information to explain the current state of my marriage. For a long time, I believed if I knew WHAT was going on, then I'd know how to FIX the problems. I was wrong. Most supremely wrong in the fact that I could control the outcome. Certainly, I can work on the pieces that I contribute to life and the world and my relationships with others, but I can't control the outcome. Another wonderful reminder to me to "Show up, do my best, and leave the outcome to God".

But, I digress. I had long since quit searching for information - yet, somehow, the information that I needed to make appropriate day to day decisions presented itself to me. And this day was no exception.

It was actually the 4th of May that the information was presented, and the conversation took place. But it was Cinco de Mayo when he moved out. It was time.

In the days, weeks and months that followed, I continued to depend on God for direction. I continued to be amazed at how the people I needed in my life showed up before I needed them. Whatever the need, it was somehow met.

I also tested out the theory that I'd formulated in New Mexico. God would meet me HERE. Suddenly, it baffled me, that I hadn't realized that fact, despite my experiences over the previous months and years. As it must, to be truly understood, the knowledge was making its way from my head to my heart.

I can't tell you it was easy. The process of divorce is never easy - but ours was relatively uneventful, as divorces go. We were both able to maintain a spirit of cooperation - still do, which has been beneficial long-term.

Cinco de Mayo - the beginning of my living independently, from a worldly perspective. From a spiritual perspective, I've never lived so dependently! I am seen as a single mother - but, I have never, ever been alone. Never.

For those who may not know the significance of "Cinco de Mayo" (aside from 1/2 price margaritas at the local Mexican restaurant). The 5th of May - Cinco de Mayo - is the celebration of initial victory of Mexican forces over the French in the city of Puebla - not it's official "Independence Day"... but a darn good start! Same for me... pretty cool!


kristin said...

Oh, Linda - peace be with you.

And congratulations on your independence and strength.

JoAnn said...

The journey is not one I wanted either, but the amazing new path since my divorce is something I wouldn't trade. Blessed by God, His ever-seeing, all knowing, watchful love sustains. God is faithful.

Linda said...

My "Independence" gets me into trouble. My In-dependence keeps me on the right path.

I wouldn't trade this path for anything in the world, either....

"Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me....."