Friday, September 5, 2008

Embracing My Imperfections

I am a perfectionist, there's no denying it. Though, my perfectionism is less crippling to me now than it used to be, I still struggle with it from time to time. Over the years, I've been given many, many opportunities to "embrace my imperfections".

I was given another "opportunity" on Wednesday this past week. I was meeting with the church interpreter to review the music for Sunday, as well as work on developing my interpreting skills. I had plugged my ipod into the speakers, and we had listened for unfamiliar words and phrases.

The words reviewed, it was time for me to interpret the recorded sermon. It was awful. I'd catch a word here, a phrase there, but the overall message was nowhere to be found on my hands.

"You want it to be perfect. That is going to throw you off", she said. "...just like always..." I thought. Ahhhhh... another opportunity to embrace my imperfections.... I sighed. "Thanks a lot, God", I thought, sarcastically.

My perfectionism: a stumbling block in my way again. Yet, in order to disentangle myself from it's grip, I need to let go of control of the outcome. I need to surrender to the fact that it may be "good enough". I need to trust that somewhere in this world, there is enough grace to cover my imperfections.

I need to remember what I've been instructed to do:

"Do what you've been asked to do, to the best of your ability, and leave the outcome to God."

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