Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Preparing to Return - part 2

As I prepare to return to the little stone chapel at Montgomery Bell State Park, I am reminded of what I am to bring: ipod, journal, camera, contact lens case and, of course, Kleenex.

I know I will walk into the back of the church and sing, just as I did a decade ago,when I first set foot in the building. I am sure I will sing and I will sign. I do that.

The song that moved me so undeniably this past week at church runs through my head: "I choose to love you, I choose to love you, for always. Forever." The song was written for a wedding, but sung (and signed) to God becomes a powerful declaration of intent. "I choose to love You. I choose to love You. For always. Forever"

I have visions of laying myself bodily on the altar, experiential woman that I am. It seems more plausible than laying my heart on the altar. I think of Abraham and Isaac. I pray that God will provide a ram for my Isaac heart. Sharing this sentiment with a friend, she reminded me, "He already has". What a gift!

I am sure I will walk, or sit beneath an old oak tree, or lay in the grass. There, I will close my eyes and just breathe. I hope for the warmth of the sun, and the caress of a gentle breeze on my face. I'd dance in the rain, though, too. We'll see what God provides and where the Spirit leads.

Until then, I wait, and I pray. For courage. For strength. For willingness to let go of control (AKA an agenda!). For peace. For stillness. For the ability to listen and to hear.

Until then, I wait. Until then, I pray.

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