Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Irreparable

I was laying on my yoga mat, at the end of class. Laying there, perfectly still - in Savasana - "corpse pose". Breathing in and breathing out, thinking of nothing in particular.

All of a sudden I 'hear' - "There are some things that "sorry" cannot fix". Piercing pain in my heart and a tear in my eye instantly appeared. "I know. I know." I thought, silently wiping the tear. I still needed to finish teaching, I couldn't lose my voice or have it crack... not right now.

I took some time after class to sit and to read and to let that statement really sink in. There are many things in life that human words or actions cannot fix and cannot make better. They cannot be made undone.

Hearts and dreams get shattered - seemingly irreparably. Yet, somehow, some way, those pieces are picked up. I believe that He examines each piece, decides which should stay and which should go, and then begins to rebuild.

Carefully, lovingly, He picks up the pieces and begins to recreate. While it is not the same, it is an opportunity to let Him mold and make my heart and my life into that which He would have it. Some of the pieces that were "mine", will surely get tossed aside.

Perhaps they will get replaced with something else - or perhaps they will remain unfilled - a hole. If I allow Him to fill it, or if I leave it as He has re-made it, I believe there will be beauty and grace that was not there before. Perhaps a window for His light to shine through. Perhaps a new opportunity, or a new desire.

The problem comes when I try to start picking up pieces and filling in holes. A heart is not something that I can fix - no matter how much I want to or I try to.

I must leave it to His hands. He knows the plans He has for me...

Perhaps, it is how He would have it...

May I yield to the Potter's hand....

1 comment:

Just me.... said...

very true... I'm sorry can't always be forgiven or what-not but that is only from our human perception. That's why it's beautiful that our best friend and the only one we "need" in our life forgives all and wipes everything clean.