Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Feeling My Age

These past few days, I have really been feeling my age...

It's not that I've passed my 40th birthday (a few years ago!), and it's not the bifocal contact lenses. It's not the occasional pain in my knee nor the handful of pills I swallow every morning... they're vitamins.... It's not that my kids are growing faster than I can believe or that the new doctors at the hospital were all born after I graduated high school.... No... it's not that.

The thing is.... I worked this past weekend - on the night shift. Friday and Saturday night. Sunday morning, I stayed up - and awake! - through church. No big deal. I used to do it ALL the time when I worked straight night shift. Ending my stretch with a full 24+hours awake was my usual routine. But.... I was also in my 20's.

This time - I'm tired. Even a few days later, I'm tired. I slept well Sunday night, quick nap and felt pretty good on Monday. Tuesday, not so much.... Getting through the day was a chore, even after a L O N G nap. All day long, I wanted to crawl back into the bed - which, I'm sure the rain didn't help!

But, the thing is...

With age has come some wisdom, and with my 40's a sense of freedom. I tolerate imperfection a little more, and I am blessed to be able to fit a little nap in here and there. I've learned through trial and error (mostly error) - that if I'm tired, I really do need to rest.

It goes a long way - for my health, for my parenting skills, for my tolerance of the world around me, for my relationship with God.

"Sleep is a gift" we were told at church on Sunday - I think anyway ... I don't think it was my longing for the bed that put those words in my head. It was a gentle reminder toward self-care. For living the life God intended for us, and not being drawn in too many directions by the agenda of the world.

May I rest in You and feel renewed...

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