Vita Brevis, Carpe Diem

I am feeling very blessed, after having spent a busy "Friday the 13th" working at the hospital.

The day started with one of the staff extending both forearms over an empty bed space. On the right forearm was the phrase "Vita Brevis", on the Left "Carpe Diem" - "Life is short, seize the day".

How entirely ironic.

Less than an hour later, that bed was filled with someone experiencing Vita Brevis. Throughout the course of the day, we had three more. It's one of the hard things about the job: those 'life changing events'.

They are hard.

But, it's like I've always said, being at work reminds me how blessed I am. It reminds me not to take a single thing for granted.

Like the ability to walk out at the end of the shift.

Thank You God!

Life Changing Events

One of the mixed blessings of working for the trauma service is that I see Life Changing Events every (work) day. On one hand, they remind me of how much I have to be grateful for. It certainly shift my mindset back into perspective when I am feeling out of sorts.

But then, on occasion, the two worlds collide.

One evening we're laughing together, the next morning, I hear the news.

Saddens my heart.

So I pray and walk forward into what lies ahead for her.

Being Stalked

I'm definitely in a "being stalked" season. Conversations are happening and I am being introduced to new materials from different sources that all support and substantiate each other.

It's very, very exciting.... but it also freaks me out a bit. While I'm excited to listen and learn, and know that it's all lining up too perfectly and randomly for it to be of my own doing, I pause.

As I hear, and see and read and experience these things that challenge me to grow, I reach for the familiar. I wish I could say I did not, and instead I ran to Him and His plan with open arms.

I am walking in a general forward direction. Sometimes I feel I've made progress when my feet stand firmly where they are - instead of running back to hide.

I do not want to remain where I am for the remainder of my life... so I must move. When He calls my name, I should turn in His direction and walk to where He has called. When He invites me to dance, I should listen for His music, take His hand and dance....

I may walk on trembling legs, but I trust that He will hold me.

Evolution

There is definite change in my life. Change that I've prayed for, and thought I would really struggle with it when it came. Perhaps, on one hand, I have.... on the other... it strikes me by surprise when I realize it.

My eating habits have changed quiet a bit in the past couple of months. The biggest change is I've transitioned to six small meals a day. When I'm really following that, I am amazed at how good I feel. When I have a meal more similar to my life a year or two ago, I am amazed at how much it affects me.

It's just a part of the evolution that is occurring in my life and in that of my family.

I've gotta say, now that I'm in a bit, I'm really glad to be here. I'm sure I dug my heels in and turned away before I ever stepped.

And I'm sure that this isn't the ONLY area in my life that is evolving.... God only knows for sure. I just know where I've had my heels dug.

Half way there...

I don't know how I got there... exactly. Generally, I do: ate more, exercised less. But, there's no clear day when it happened.

There's a pretty clear day when it changed, though. I started my MMA in March. And things started changing. Little by little. Aside from the exercise itself - the kicking, the punching, the "jumping rope" (imaginary rope) - there is the mindset.

There is something about saying "I will avoid anything that will reduce my mental growth or my physical health" twice a week. After a while, it starts to stick.

And so do the little lifestyle changes. Especially the "easy" ones. Raising the priority of my walks and planning my meals.

And THEN the physical changes kick in. The pants get looser. The muscles get defined.

And THEN, I realize - as I'm turning down an offer for free pizza (and later, free cookies!) - I'm half-way through my weight loss goal! YES!

Thank You God!

Continuing Education

I have received the same informational email several times. Each time, I check out the website.

"Oh! That sounds interesting."

"I think I'd like that...."

It would count as continuing education for both of the licenses I hold....and it was half-price. And yet, I hesitate to enroll.

During my time Tending the Earth, it was something that came to mind repeatedly. Every time I thought of it, I got excited and had a sense that it is something that I need to do. It's a 12 week teleconference course - that I need to complete by the end of the year. I sat and I thought and I sat and I listened. Finally, I asked the question.

"What am I afraid of?"

Oh. THAT! Yeah.... that.

It will force me to look at myself differently, and look at others differently. It will bring change.

"It will change my life." Yeah. That.

We're going on a ride! Gotta fasten my seat belt.

I start Monday!

Seasons of Change

Spring and new beginnings are coming forth.

I can see the days lengthening, the daffodils beginning to grow - despite it being unseasonably cold.

I see shifts in my life. Many things are coming to a close, and other things are beginning their first steps.

While there aren't any "really cool God Things" that have happened lately, there are the smaller day to day moments when I know that God is in the midst of things.

I can feel Him moving, calling, leading. I try - the best that I can - to listen, obey and follow. Then "life" and laundry and papers stack up.... yet, I know He is there in the midst of the disarray as well.

To the journey! Lead on...

Times of Transition...

I see so many people these days in transition. I know of several between jobs. Others are scaling back here and there for a variety of reasons. Still others are making decisions to change aspects of their lives, to improve their health - mental, physical, spiritual.

I am not excluded from many of those groups. But, I am thinking more about those for whom the changes are unexpected.

As I hear them talk, I get that feeling deep inside. I get still and quiet, and excited all at the same time. I just know that being invited into their situation - even from the very periphery, in a "non-active", but praying position - I will soon see God's hand in action.

I am reminded then of the changes that have occurred in my life, and how mightily He worked through those.

I can't say that I would willingly "sign up" for a life-changing experience or two, but having been there and walked through the other side, I am grateful for them.

I can't imagine how my life would be without them.

Thank You, God.

Be with us. Help us to see You.

Marital Perceptions

I've been thinking a lot lately about marriage and divorce and different beliefs regarding the two lately....

There was a lively discussion I got involved in on Facebook when a friend (who is more of an acquaintance) stated that he and his wife are separating. It saddened me - for him and his wife - and their three young boys. What saddened me more was the comments that followed.

The first 10 or 15 comments were all supportive and stating how "maturely" they were handling the situation. I was the first to mention focusing energy on resurrecting the marriage. But, it's not his story I want to focus on...

I was reminded of how my views of marriage have changed over the years. My first one, I threw away. I didn't have the "God-connect", the support or the life skills to consider anything but leaving. I had an escape route and I was taking it.

I wonder how much of the divorce problem there is today is based on lives similar to my experience. And, I wonder if it has to do with a culture that is so used to disposable everything - diapers, water bottles, relationships. Everything is fast and easy and if it's not, don't waste your time on it. It's too sad....

I'm glad I've had relationships in my life with mentors that were different. The work wasn't fast, it wasn't easy and it wasn't fun. BUT... it was so worthwhile.

I hear so many people NOW who have worked through their differences and have found joy, peace and support in the mean time. God is in the midst of all of them... whether we choose to include him or not.

I pray for my friend and his marriage.... I pray for all of those who are struggling or have struggled.... and I pray for and express much gratitude to those who have dug in deep and persevered! Thank you, God for them. May they share their stories and encourage those who need to hear.