Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ignoring vs. Letting Go

One of the things I love about some of my friends is that we can "go in deep". We talk about things. Serious things.

Sure, we laugh and joke, but we can get into some very interesting discussions that leave me thinking, and having a deeper understanding of things. Sometimes, it's the "spectrum of disclosure" (yes, I DID have to get that in - I love that phrase!), and sometimes it's things like the difference between "ignoring" and "letting go".

The thing that is amazing to me, no matter why we are discussing the issue - her need or mine - I learn.

In this most recent discussion, I was helped in articulating definitions of both "ignoring" and "letting go". It helped me to see that when I "ignore" something, there is an aspect of denial - I don't acknowledge it. I try to pretend it doesn't exist. I was pretty good at that for a long time.... and then I was shown how much it was hurting me.

On the other hand, when I "let go" of something, I acknowledge it. I may even have some very strong feelings about it - and I acknowledge them as well! - but I don't hold on to it. I don't carry the issue around with me, assessing it from every possible angle. And, I don't ignore it. I acknowledge it and decide to leave it be - or perhaps, hand it over to God to hold for me for a while. If I'm lucky, I choose not to take it back, though sometimes I do feel the need to do so (until I realize - AGAIN - how much time and breath I am wasting analyzing something I cannot control.

So, thank you God for my friends, and our ability to hold mirrors, and don steel-toed boots. Thank you for their ability to help me trust you more

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