Thursday, January 22, 2009

Impatience is WHAT?

I was completing some at-home continuing education. I'd had as much as I could handle for one day, though I still had few more topics to go. I flipped through one of them as I put the unfinished packets into my work bag.

One sentence caught my eye: "Impatience is sub-clinical anxiety". I'm sorry, WHAT? My first thought was "no, no, no....", but the statement stuck with me. I soon recognized that crazy spinning that my brain does when it's just been hit between the eyes with a truth it wants to disprove!

I don't consider myself to be an anxious person. Most people say I'm a very patient person, but I'm more like a duck. Calm, cool, collected is what can usually be seen, but I'm often paddling like mad under the surface.

My "internal editor" is a blessing in these situations. It lets me wait 'patiently', and not speak the thousand "c'mon! c'mon! COME ON.... can you not just DO IT!?" s that are going through my brain.

I am not patient with MYSELF one bit. OK, I might have ONE bit of patience - but that's it... and I've worked hard to get that!

I consider the times that I show my impatience, and ask myself "why?" "Why do I get impatient?" Usually, it's because I'm worried (DOH!) about being late, or not getting something done. Worried. Hmmmm... Anxious. Ugh! "No, no, no, no, no...." says the brain. Drat. For me, that statement is true. Sub-clinical anxiety... me. * sigh *

I'm not anxious to the point where it impairs my life.... just to the point where it keeps me from acting as I should... patiently. For Love is patient and kind.... Patience is fruit of the spirit... it is much needed in our world today - let it begin with me.

May I walk in patience and in love. May I trust Your timing. May I lay my worries at Your feet.

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, Ephesians 4:1-2

No comments: