When I look back over my life, where I have been and where I am now, much of it looks the same. I actually had to laugh recently as I was going through some old books. I was in 'de-clutter' mode, and sorting through the stack of books that had been long untouched. One was a journal of sorts. I picked it up and opened the page: April 24, several years ago: "I feel like I am being called to de-clutter my life. Physically, spiritually...". Hmmm... sounds familiar. I could have written that today - or last week - or last month....
Both now and then, there are joys and struggles, moments of surrender and of willful stubbornness. Just looking at the journal entry and the past few months of my life, you'd think that nothing had changed.
But there is a great difference now. I am not isolated. On so many levels, I am not isolated.
There are people in my life. People that really, TRULY know me. They know me, they love me, they support me, they encourage me, they comfort me. They've been behind the wall, they've helped me remove some stones, they've shined the light into the dark corners. I sit with these people, in some form or fashion, every day. Some I sit with in person, some I sit with online, but none-the-less, there is daily contact.
As wonderful as it is having these dear friendships, they pale in comparison to another relationship I now have in my life. My life is blessed by feeling the daily presence of God. These days, I have a connection with God that I didn't have in years back. He was there - I just didn't know it. Loving me, supporting me, encouraging me, comforting me. Every step of the way, yet I failed to recognize it.
It's amazing to me to fully grasp that idea... that I could be so oblivious. I guess walls and dark places do that to a person.
Fortunately, some things - like God and the business of Refining - never change.
Fortunately, some things - like me - do.
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