Wednesday, April 28, 2010

"Ouch.....Hallelujah!!"

We were being worked pretty hard in our Karate/MMA class. At one point the instructor said "This is an "Ouch.... Hallelujah!" moment" He went on to explain that while it may hurt now, down the road, we'll be loving it.

He was talking about physically. We may feel the burn - and later the ache - of our muscles, having been through it, will change our lives.... permanently. We get stronger. We get leaner. We gain flexibility and confidence. Really, it's a recipe for success! We just don't always see it that way.

I can't help but carry the analogy further. It's really the same for me emotionally and spiritually. I think back to the times when I have felt broken: broken-hearted or spiritually crippled. Thinking further back, were the days that I didn't even know what I was missing - I didn't understand relationships and feelings and choices. Sometimes I'd stick a bandaid on a wound and call it "good enough". There was no cleaning it or pulling out debris, just "done... move on".

But, God isn't OK with "good enough" when it comes to my heart and my spiritual life. So, He points it out. Often, I don't realize how improperly it has healed, or that there's still "stuff" in there that doesn't belong. Sometimes, He asks me to remove the bandaid, sometimes He does it Himself.

I used to run, hide, and pretend I didn't hear. Fortunately there were people placed in my life to encourage and support me. They called my bluff and made me look. They assured me I would survive what felt like an unnecessary and intolerable reliving of a painful experience. Little did I know it was an "Ouch.... Hallelujah!!" moment.

I didn't realize that walking through it would allow real healing and new life.

Oh, He's still at work with me, no doubt. And sometimes I still want to run, hide and pretend I didn't hear. More often, I'll grab one of those people who walk through such times with me and say "HOLD ON! We're going for a ride".

When I do hesitate, ignore or walk away with my ears plugged saying "La, la, la, la, la.... I can't hear You!!", they love me enough to call me on it. Sometimes I go shaking my head saying "No, no, no, no, no....please, please, no...." silently under my breath, but typically, I do walk. I've learned that there is healing in walking through the pain. At the end of the darkness, there is ALWAYS light.

Do I like the process...? No, not exactly. Do I limp and stumble awkwardly through life during those painful times...? Yes Sir!!

Am I grateful that God loves me enough to challenge me out of my version of "good enough"? Absolutely!

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