Grateful for Change

Change is hard. Sometimes, I fight it. Sometimes, I am grateful for it - but mostly retrospectively!

I spent the day Saturday with two extra children - a 7 year old and a 9 month old. Their mom had an all-day event and her usual back-ups were unavailable. I was happy to help, but I didn't realize how many repressed memories I would call forth, and how much it would make me grateful for where we are!

Babies are cute - and this one was too. Yes, she cried when mom left - no biggie - expected. We handled it. We dropped the big girls off at a Girl Scout "Ladybug Picnic", and the boy, the baby and I headed to get hair cuts.

It was there that I realized how much I had forgotten. I'd gotten her "bucket" seat into my vehicle - the base and the bucket itself. I found myself standing there in the parking lot saying "C'mon, now, Linda... there HAS to be an escape latch!" For the life of me, I couldn't remember how to detach the bucket from the base. Finally, success!!

I'd forgotten how heavy those things are! (and this is NOT a big baby!) How I ever managed to carry one in each arm is beyond me. We step inside, find a 40 minute wait and leave.

At home, I decided to try to feed her and be proactive so that we could RETURN to get haircuts, go rent a video game for the boy, and pick up the girls at the appointed time. Since I have LONG since cleared my house of baby-stuff, I sat her on my lap, and began with the sweet potato mush. She loved it - and loved using my sleeve as a napkin. I was reminded of all the baby food mishaps I'd survived - the peas SPRAYED out of a mouth, fingers who wanted to test the consistency of the food (both in the jar and in the mouth), and of course, the ritual finger painting. Fortunately, this baby hasn't started reaching out for the jar or the spoon!

I refreshed my memory on the "one scoop / 2 ounces of water" ratio for formula constitution. The bottle feeding itself, was old hat - and a rather sweet moment. Toward the end of the day, I had even re-mastered the one-handed feed while I ate with the other.

I'd had a diapering refresher in the past year, so no biggie there - except for the immense gratitude that my children are independent in those functions (save a reminder to "flush and wash hands")

Generally speaking, it was a nice day - though naptime sucked. (Just like it did with my kids). The getting her down part, that is. Then, of course there is the "Cram-all-the-things-I-need-to-do-today-into-the-couple-hours-that-the baby-sleeps" feeling. And the guilt for all the things that have been neglected in the time I've been feeding, changing, snuggling the baby.

I remember that rhythm - remember the constant and apparently unending pattern. Feed, change, snuggle... It's all normal life with an infant.

And I am acutely aware of how grateful I am to have school aged children!

Thank You God for getting me through my kids' infancy and toddlerhood. Much of it is a blur - dulled by sleep deprivation and constant repetition - but I am grateful to have pictures and to have made it through mostly unscaithed!

And very, very grateful to have had a boy AND a girl the first time around...