Monday, April 20, 2009

Hearing, Seeing, Feeling.....Safe...

Between Daylight Saving time and the passing of days, it was still a little bit light when I got home from work. The dog and I both needed a walk, so I swapped out the birks for the sneakers, grabbed a leash and a flashlight and we headed on our way.

About half way around the mile-plus loop, nighttime had officially fallen. We continued to walk, enjoying the night noises. With each step, I was aware of that fact that many people would say that I am "foolish" to walk "alone" at night.

It made me ever so grateful for the neighborhood that was picked for me. I do feel safe here. Very, very safe. Oh, and, uhm.... I wasn't alone.

I had with me an 81 pound chocolate lab who is very mouthy and likes to jump on people (read "more puppy than well-behaved"). His ears and nose are much better than mine....I would have TOTALLY missed the toad, if not for him pulling on his leash. And, as always....God was with me as well...

As we turned the corner just past the mid-way point, I became aware of some of my behaviors. Most obviously, I was carrying the flashlight - but it wasn't on. There are rare street lights, occasional security lights, and frequent porch lights. If a car approached, I would turn it on, and shine the light low along the road. Once the car passed, it was off again. From years of summer camp, I know that God designed my eyes to adapt to low light - and they work better if not distracted by the motion and bright light of an illuminated flashlight.

I also relied on the wisdom handed down to me by my blind father: my ears are my friend. By not focusing intently on a beam of light aimed at a small portion of ground ahead of me, I am more open to listen to the sounds around me. Enjoyable, yes. Informational, yes.

My deaf friend also has taught me - about my sense of sight. In knowing her, my sense of sight (and vibration!) has been heightened. I notice things like the subtle changes in my dog's ears, and the *feel* of thunder. I realized how much I trust my dog's instincts! Jake-the-dog has NEVER demonstrated and "proven" them to me. I simply trust.

Years of living in situations where what was said and what actually occurred were sometimes dichotomous, has heightened my intuition. Years of light being focused on the truth - a truth that more often than not I already knew (but denied) in my gut - helped me to trust it!

And as I walked and contemplated all these things in my head, I was filled with awe. What incredible, incredible creatures we are. Beautifully designed - "wonderfully and fearfully made".

And yet.... despite the knowledge, the sight, the sound and the feeling deep within that He is working all things for good.... I doubt. I wonder why. I pout. I often try my way (repeatedly!) before I surrender to His.

But, not tonight.... for the moment of time that the dog, God and I walked the neighborhood - I trusted. Completely. I was safe.... I felt safe... and filled with ever so much gratitude!

Oh, how it could be.... if I trusted more.....

peace by peace.

1 comment:

Amanda Sanders said...

love you blog! Going to add you to my Friends Who Blog page.