Monday, November 10, 2008

Another Hallelujah!

So... for all of you who are wondering how things went at church - conveniently enough, I feel I need to share with you exactly what happened. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, read yesterday's post)

I woke up fairly rested - only two middle of the night interruptions. We got to the church for the band rehearsal. ipod in my ears, I stepped onto the stage to practice while the musicians were getting their cords and wires straightened out.

My son was needing frequent attention - and paper airplanes - but I pressed forth. Rehearsal with the band went OK. I still didn't *know* the songs to my level of comfort, but I continued. "Please, help me", I signed. "complete(ly) trust(ing) You today". Every chance I got "complete(ly) trust(ing) You today".

After the rehearsal, I went to the cross and offered my prayer - asking that God would open my heart, take my self out, and Him enter in. That He would help me to hear the words and understand the meanings, and that the right signs would come off my hands.

Just before the service, the worship team gathers to pray. The worship leader turn to his left and asked the man standing next to him to pray. Then, he turn to his right, and asked that I would pray along as well...a first. He's never asked that of me before. I nodded, knowing that all the practice and preparation would be beneficial - and that God would be with me.

I have got to say that the "low end" of the base reverberating in the floor of the stage, helps bring it home. The first song was full of energy - certainly more than I felt this morning. Announcements following the song, somehow came off my hands mostly right. More songs, prayers... Finally, the last song before the sermon.... the one that I had struggled with most - not that it was "hard", though it did have a line that made no sense in English, not to mention ASL. It just never seemed to come together at home.

As the intro began, I closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. Now was the time - My Self out, God in. "I love you, Lord with all my heart..." I didn't even let myself take a moment to celebrate that that first line came out right... press on... "... My heart and soul are praising, Hallelujah".

That's when the tears came. Lots and lots of tears. Ignore the tears... press on. The words of the worship leader through the instrumental portion of the song fly off my hands. The song continues. Second verse. "...All that I can say is Hallelujah". I'm aware that I have signed "must cry out hallelujah". Powerfully. So true for me at that moment. There is nothing else to say.

The tears have made their way down my cheeks, over my jawline, down my neck reaching the center of my chest. Briefly, I wonder how many people in the congregation can see the light reflecting off the streams of wetness on my face. Doesn't matter.

I have been met. I have surrendered and trusted. He has been faithful. Again, and again.

(... and the song was awesome...He SOOO had my hands.)

1 comment: