Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Anger - my friend

For a long, long time, I avoided anger. I didn't "get" angry... I'd sometimes get "annoyed", but never "angry". Angry people were scary to me - and I didn't want to be scary.

Then, I learned that there is a difference between "anger"and "rage". And, I learned that anger is my friend. Anger tells me when a boundary has been crossed, and gives me the gumption to stand up for myself, my children, or the truth.

It took me a long time, practicing with anger - to show it. I always feared I'd go straight to rage, and that thought terrified me. I remember being angry at a friend of mine years ago. She said, "You look angry". I glared at her. "Tell me", she said, "tell me you are angry at me!" I waited.... and waited... She looked at me and shrugged her shoulders like "well...?" I told her I was angry. "Tell me like you mean it!" she said. And I did. "YES!!!" she said. I shook my head in disbelief.

With practice, I became more skilled at expressing my anger. I learned that not only would anger not destroy me, it wouldn't destroy other people either - if I expressed it appropriately.

Appropriately expressed, I speak my truth. I stand my ground. I defend my boundaries. I protect my self and my children. I can be angry and stay in relationship with the person I am angry at. And, I can still love them.

I also learned that I could be angry with God.... He's big enough to handle it. I just need to stay in relationship with Him as I work through my anger. Allowing Him to 'contain' me, I am safe.

Thank you God, for Your love.... and my anger.

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