Friday, August 26, 2011

Repentence and Firey Darts

I sat in my car, thinking as I drove from one place to another - through the years, different cross roads, where I have made choices... for better or for worse.

The one I settled on reminded me of a verse I heard on Sunday. It appears in the midst of God calling his "faithless children" to return to Him.

Jeremiah 3:13
13 Only acknowledge your guilt,
that you rebelled against the LORD your God
and scattered your favors among foreigners under every green tree,
and that you have not obeyed my voice,
declares the LORD.

And, as I think back to the situation - it was more than simply a "bad choice". It was a "bad choice" followed by several other bad choices... all of which have had, and continue to have consequences... Rebellion tends to do that....

I hear myself say, "God, that was wrong...", and feel the brokenness deep in my core. I know it has already been forgiven.....I know it has, He has already shown me that, again and again.

But then I feel the sting. The nagging questioning, "How can you walk through this? You don't know how to do this! How do you think you will get your children to choose differently? It's never going to be any different...."

It disheartened me for a while, as I drove, thinking about the whole of it. And then, I realized how the tone had changed. I'd gone from feeling broken, but forgiven to paralyzed into inaction, and doubting my future. I wondered how many years I had believed these lies... I wondered how many times, I'd been hit by the firey darts of the deceiver, and believed him over what God had told me time and time again.

Didn't matter really. What mattered is that I didn't today:

I can walk through this because "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength"!
I may not know how to do this, but He does, and if I keep tight with Him and go where He goes, we'll be just fine!
And how can you say "it is never going to be any different..."? It already *IS* different!

About that time, I'd parked and picked up my phone to head into the bank. I flipped to the email that had arrived as I had been driving and thinking. It ended with this: "Walk in the Holy Confidence from the Lord today".

I laughed and cried and shook my head in amazement. How perfectly timed. Thank You, God!

I'm sure it is not the last time round this particular mountain, nor the last time I will feel the sting of the firey darts..... but to know that they can be at least temporarily silenced - such a gift!

No comments: