Preparing to Retreat

I know that it is still six weeks away, but it was over six weeks ago that I was so powerfully convicted of the need to retreat with Him. There I lay, sobbing in my bed, after a brief conversation with near-stranger.

"Forgive me..." I said.

"Come spend some time with me..." He said.

I nodded and opened the calendar app on my phone. I picked a weekend and wrote it in. The next week was spent finding a location. From there it has been waiting, wondering and a bit of instruction from time to time. "Don't forget to bring....", "Be sure to...."

I recall some of the powerful experiences I have had previously, when He called me to retreat with Him. Each time, He has met me, and prepared me, and "grown" me. Healing. Freedom. Clarity.

I wonder, sometimes, as I think of this weekend we have planned, what He will focus on. I think of what He has been teaching me and showing me lately, and I am a little afraid, honestly... But, I remember where we have been together, He and I, so I shift my focus from the agenda to the preparations.

"I will bring....". "I will be sure to..."

And then I pray: Prepare my heart. Meet me there. Help me be open and yielding to Your vision and Your plan.