Saturday, August 1, 2009

Hold My Heart

I sat at work during a few slow moments, trying to come up with a blog topic. Nothing. Not. One. Thing.

Hours later, it started to come together, piece by piece...

I've been aware that Tenth Avenue North is quickly becoming a favorite group for me. First it was "By my side", then, tonight, driving home, I heard "Hold My Heart". It was my first introduction to the song, and I didn't really think much of it. It caught my attention, and I made note of the title to lyric-search it later...when I got time. No rush.

It was later on, talking with an IM friend that the puzzle pieces fit. The song, the topic, the lesson. *wham*.

We had been discussing the balance between being "open-hearted" and "loving well" vs. turning and running or slamming the heart-walls shut with people who may not be QUITE ready to hear or receive - those who have their hearts protected by walls of their own.

I told her I needed to find a way to "protect" my heart, but not shut it down. As I typed those words, three other words -"hold my heart" - sang in the back in my head. I knew it was time to look up those lyrics - and knew what I was to write.

I found the song, pressed 'play' and read the lyrics as they sang. By the middle of the first verse, the tears were falling. I have felt that alone. I have cried that "one tear in the driving rain". Yet, without a doubt, He has caught every tear that I have shed. He has heard my one voice. He has heard the sound of my breaking heart....

Now, He seeks to heal it. In His hands it is safe, protected, open and "loving well". He continues to teach me - through the people He has sent, through the lyrics and the music. He continues to stalk me, love me, hold me....

In His hands, my heart is safe.

"... would You come close and hold my heart?"

Hold My Heart - 10th Avenue North

How long must I pray
Must I pray to You?
How long must I wait
Must I wait for You?
How long till I see Your face
See You shining through

I'm on my knees
Begging You to notice me
I'm on my knees
Father, will You turn to me

One tear in the driving rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart

I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why

So many questions without answers
Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances
To hear you call my name
To hear you call my name

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