Monday, July 13, 2009

I Wasn't Expecting THAT....

I knew Sunday morning would be a 100% trusting God time. I hadn't been back from camp for 24 hours yet, had barely looked at music for the service, and of the five songs, two I didn't know by title. The other three, I recognized, from a long time ago.

As I always do, I arranged the worship songs into the leading places on my ipod shuffle. As I showered, I listened to the music, hoping something would come to my hands. A few lines from a chorus here or there I remembered, but I'd need to really look at my lyric translation pages during rehearsal.

In my head, I though I'd toss a pair of songs to my interpreting partner. When she walked in, I knew it would be me interpreting. It was easy to see that she wasn't feeling well.

Fortunately, I had looked at the songs, and copied those I didn't know to sit to translate. During rehearsal, I knew my repeated "God_help_me" prayers were being heard. He was meeting me here. Thank you, God.

We elected to not interpret the sermon, as there were no deaf people in the congregation. Retrospectively, I am glad! Apparently I was meant to listen.

As I sat, listening to my pastor teach about the roles in marriage out of Ephesians 5, I could feel it starting. There was no shifting in my chair or crossing and uncrossing my legs that was going to improve the matter. I could feel it in my chest, and the best I could do was let the tears fall and hope the snot wouldn't be unmanageable.

I wasn't prepared for another return of "grieving my marriage". Thus far, I had made it through the series - convicted and instructed - but not broken-hearted. There had been a few tears, and much crying out to God, but not this.

Front row, left of center stage (fortunately sitting and not interpreting!), wiping tears so I could see to write down the things that struck me as he spoke, I sat.

During the final prayer, I asked for peace - at least for the final song. I needed to stand before God and finish the service. And as I stood there, "singing" with my hands - eyes 100% closed and voice 100% off - I was amazed at the perfection of the lyrics: "I stand before You now with trembling hands lifted high. Be glorified."

I left, literally, with trembling hands. I trust, as I continue to walk through this with Him, He will "Be glorified in me....". God willing.

Ephesians 5:22-33:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

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