Monday, July 20, 2009


It's hard to believe that it is been a year now... and thus nearly 18 months since I decided...again. Both days remain clear in my memory.

But first, a little history. I grew up in the church - but not really in a "church-going" family. I went, starting in Sunday School, through high school. I was involved in the "Focus on Youth" group, and in the "Puppet Productions" ministry. I rang hand bells for a while. And, Sundays, when I was not at camp, I was seated in a pew.

In 9th grade, we had "confirmation" class. We joined the church and were baptized if we hadn't been as infants. I was 15. Confirmed. Baptized. Didn't think anything more of it.

CERTAINLY didn't think any more of it in the years after high school. I never got connected in anything remotely resembling "church" in college, nor in the years after graduation. It was too hard, I reasoned, since I worked every other weekend. I'd frequently sit down and write in my journal - "soul search" I called it, but much of it was calling out to God. I just didn't know how to listen... or live.

It wasn't until nearly a decade later, after I'd been divorced for the first time, and moved to TN that I found a church home. It was there that I got involved in Women's Bible Studies. I had no idea who Beth Moore was, nor Priscilla Shirer, or any of the other "Big Names" in the world of bible study.

My walk with God had begun. It intensified at the time of my second divorce, as I daily cried out for guidance. And took time to listen. For a long time, I let Him drive. I was along for the ride, it was all I could do. "Show me what to do today, Lord..." "What do I do with THIS [information]?"

But it was March of 2008, when, I woke up shortly before four a.m., SOBBING... My first words were "You died for ME!"

That evening, it snowed - and yet I still joked with my friends at the bible study: "Call Pastor Matt - Let's go to the river!" (I say 'joked', but I'd have gone... cold, snowy, moonlit...oh yes! I'd have gone!)

I waited until July, when my church gathered for the annual creek baptisms. Not far from my house, I drive over the bridge and look to "that spot" nearly every day. It's peaceful there. I love it that driving past it brings to mind my walk with God. Where I've been. Where I am. Where I'm going. It continues. Day by day. "Life focus You", I'd signed that day... "want, want, want, life focus You".

May I live my new life in a way that honors and glorifies Him.

And yes... that's me... my right hand anyhow....

1 comment:

Jae said...

What a precious, God-sent sister of mine you are! Your love and comittment to The King is so obvious and heart felt. Rejoicing with you in your decision to free fall, no net into HIM! God is so very good.
Love you!
Jo Ann