Sunday, December 14, 2008

Ooh Tidings of Comfort and Joy....

Today has been one of those sweet, sweet days where God comes and meets me in the midst of my mess. I've been learning (again) about walls - in myself and in others - and my frustration on both sides.

When I'm in "learning mode", I don't much like being with groups of people - even groups of women I love dearly. But, I had made special arrangements to be able to attend the Women's Brunch for church, so I went.

On the way, I was listening to the songs for Sunday's worship service - getting them "into my body", so that they will more easily come off my hands as I interpret. Our first Christmas song arrives this week: "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". As I drove and sang, and watched the signs that appeared somewhere deep behind my eyes, I thought "I sure could use some 'tidings of comfort and joy' "

Not too long after I'd arrived, one woman pulled me aside. "I have something for you," she said, "It's for your tree." I opened the box and unwrapped the bubble wrap. As the layers peeled away, I could see the shape - a hummingbird. "Because you've brought me so much joy". Oh yes, if you know me, you know the tears came. (*I* have brought *her* joy? I see the reverse...)

I thought back to the summer when I'd posted about, and she and I had talked about, hummingbirds. The tears didn't surprise me - it's another reason I avoid groups in "learning mode" - I cry *really* easily. The trembling, however, caught me unprepared. I hugged her and thanked her, and excused myself to the bathroom.

"Oh, God..." It's one of those weird prayers of mine that encompasses "meet me here" and "you ARE here". It comes out during those times when I want to say *something*, but there is nothing to say that is remotely adequate for the situation.

I tried to compose myself, wipe my eyes, and re-enter society. It worked pretty well until the music started and I got to see "Mary Did You Know" and "Breath of Heaven" in American Sign Language, off the hands of my friend and mentor.

After the speaker, we exchanged Christmas ornaments, by number. I received one that said "Believe" on one side and contained Luke 2:30 - 32 on the other. There could not have been a more perfect ornament for me. In my home, year round, the word "Believe" is portrayed again and again.

I spent the afternoon out in the world, running errands - and meeting Him again and again.

As I walked through the neighborhood with my dog, (ipod in and blaring!) I signed (GREAT BIG) "Tidings of comfort and joy"

Thank You for meeting me in the midst of my mess.. with comfort and with joy.

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