Sunday, August 31, 2008

"Love him Well "

(Note: if you have not yet read "Thus Far", please do; it is the precursor to this story...)

Having had my "Thus Far" experience, I continued to witness the "fast and furious" progression of events that lay ahead. Saturday, we discussed the events two days prior. Trust was broken, and our hearts lay torn and battered.

Following our conversation, I headed to bed. There I lay, almost certain that my marriage was disintegrating in front of my eyes. I cried out, "My God, what am I going to do?" The kids were small, and I felt very, very alone. "What do I do, Lord? What do I do?"

In the silence, I hear, "Love him well". My eyes flew open. "Excuse me?" "Love him well". I could hardly believe it. "Love him well? What the hell....? Do You understand what's going on here?? Do You have any idea of how I feel right now?" (Of course You do...) I shook my head, closed my eyes and looked away.

I sighed deeply, realizing that this was very likely instruction from God, answering my plea for direction. Not only was it the antithesis of what I was feeling, but it was, how do they say....? Biblical. It seemed crazy to me, but over and over and over again, the message was very clear: "Love him well..."

Many minutes went by, but finally, I reopened my eyes. "If this is what You want me to do, 'Love him well' ", I said, sarcastically, "then You are going to have to show me how, because I can't do that myself!" A silent calm surrounded me. I knew He would do just that.

Day after day, as the anger and hurt rose up inside me, the Gentle Voice Within would remind me, "Love him well". Day after day, situations would arise, and despite my pain and resentment, I was shown how to act lovingly. It was, by no means, perfect, but it was certainly better than it would have been had I acted on my own.


kristin said...

Oh, Linda. I can feel your pain and confusion. I can also feel your love and trust.

Reading about your journey is like a window into your soul.

Pam said...

amen. this sounds just like what I have been through. (my mouth is hanging open again ;)

Paula V said...

Absolutely, it is only Him who can enable us to love those who have hurt us so deeply. It is only Him who enables us to love those who walk out, abandon us, and step on the love God keeps saying: give, give...and as you said keep loving him well.

I speak this from my own experience. I am friends with Pam and she and I recently discussed this exact thing...that it is only God who can enable us to say "I love this man".