Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Teachers and Those Along the Way

I have been blessed with many "teachers" along the way. Influential individuals who arrive in my life before I need them, providing the answers before I can articulate the questions. Women who have loved me enough to hold me accountable and who were willing to love me before I was able to love myself.

Initially, I was oblivious to their presence in my life. However, once I acknowledged their existence, I could look back and name each and every one of them. I recognized the part of my journey in which they walked, and the lessons they helped me learn. Each had an integral part in helping me grow into the woman I am today. Each was heaven sent.

Many have shown me the blessings in my life - either by the presence or absence of such in theirs. Some stood silently beside me in the times when I needed quiet company, or the strength of companionship. Others challenged me to surpass my self-imposed limitations. One lay a hand on my back and said, "You can do this. You are strong!". A few have sat beside me late into the night, shining a light into the dark corners of my world.

One was an expert at holding up a "mirror", standing beside me and saying "look". She would review the situation and my reaction to it. I would avert my gaze and change the topic of conversation. She would redirect, saying, "No. Linda. Look at this". Together we would look. We explored the joys and the pain, the fears and resentments that were my life. We discovered parts of me long forgotten - including my relationship with God.

Together, we sorted through the sack of issues I was carrying on my back. We identified which were mine, and which belonged to others; which I would be able to let go of, and which I needed to hang on to for a little while longer.

We identified the stones I had placed in the wall that I had created between myself and others. Resentment, Jealousy, insecurity. We celebrated the discovery of my strengths and talents.

We cried and we laughed. We found peace, faith, hope, joy and love.

She's gone now, but in those times when I struggle, I can still her her voice in my head, "Lay down the guns, Linda. Quit fighting. I love you."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I had a dear "teacher" just like this. She is gone now, but like you, I hear her voice in my mind every day still teaching me things about myself and what I am capable of. Thanks for your lovely words and inspiration!