Watching God at Work

I had the opportunity to visit with an old friend of mine the other day. We met for dinner, and delivery of a minivan full of moving boxes I'd saved for her. She is one of the women with whom I have shared a friendship nearly as long as my tenure in Tennessee. We met shortly after we both moved to TN from opposite coasts.

Her presence in my life was a Godsend. I was in desperate need of a "teacher", guide, mentor and prayer warrior. Together, we walked through my life, healing the past, and journeying through my early experiences with marriage and motherhood. As time passed, our more formal relationship transitioned into a friendship, and we sort of lost touch.

I'd call her periodically as I walked through my early marriage crisis and divorce. But, then, again, we drifted apart.

A year or so later, I ran into a mutual friend at a community event. "Have you talked to your our friend lately?" she asked. "No....not in a long time...." The woman became very quiet, and finally said, "You should call her..."

A couple of weeks later, I did.... I was a bit surprised to hear her news: She was in the midst of a marriage crisis, heading toward divorce. She was in need of a guide, mentor and prayer warrior.

I shared with her the hope of my story: Even in the darkest moments of my marriage and my divorce process, God has been with me. When I was weak, He was strong. I reiterated some of the things she had taught me through the years. I shared my belief that it is not my job to punish, shame or make life difficult for my ex-husband. My job is to be obedient to what God would have me do: in this case "Love him well", and be a godly mother.

Time passed, and I witnessed her shock and despair turn into strength. Anger became insightful protection rather than a weapon. Joy and Laughter returned, as did Hope and Grace. She found her feet.... standing on the Rock of God.

Challenges have continued to arise.... including the prospect of moving from their "married house" to her own house. She shared the story as it has been unfolding and we walked, together, through the house she is hoping to purchase. I see God's hand allllllll over it! It reminds me of my house buying process, and I am filled with joy for her. I know what a blessing it will be.

I continue to pray that God will handle the details in her situation - as He did in mine - and that she will continue to be blessed by people in the world who do care for the "widows and orphans" of our age.

Creating Sacred Space

I spent the day in the yard: moving stone, spreading mulch, planting pansies. Wonderful, wonderful work! It does my heart, body, mind and soul good. There is nothing that fills me more than "tending the earth"

On the agenda was creating some sacred space. A place to go and sit. A place to be still. A place to talk to God.

As I fit the stones and spread the mulch, I thought about what a gift it is to have the space, the ability and the desire to be out there. The day was beautiful, and my heart was joyful! The pansies, they were a little wilted, but I'm hoping they'll resuscitate well with a little TLC.

As spring progresses, I expect the bleeding hearts and the peonies I planted will grown and bloom. I will continue to move the violets and snowdrops scattered throughout my yard into this area. The area will evolve, with time, with care and with inspiration.

As the budget allows, it will also expand. I have hopes and dreams of increasing the size of the stone patio and the mulch garden area. I can see the final result in my head, and will make slow but steady progress until it is complete.

I wonder if it's the same way with God toward me.... He knows the final results.... it just takes some time, some work, some love and some care for the process to evolve. He COULD, I'm sure, just * create* me in that final image. But, like the creation of the sacred space and garden. The joy experienced in the process would be lost.

What a gift to journey, to evolve, to grow.

Thank you God!

The Faces of Divorce

Through the years, and especially within the past 6 months or so, I have met more and more divorced women. Some have been divorced for years, others more recently. Some have young children, others, grown children.

Many of these women struggle to make ends meet. Some routinely require the assistance of the court to receive child support. Many move - sometimes quickly - some stay in their marital homes. Some are at peace with the dissolution of their marriage, others struggle with the feelings of loss and grief.

The reasons for divorce vary, but the outcomes are essentially the same. Life has been dramatically changed. It's hard - no matter how 'good' it is. There is a process to walk through. There needs to be time for "grieving the wish" of the marriage, and healing of a broken heart. It was in that process that my faith was enriched. It was then that the true "God-connect" was established.

One of my friends likens single mothers and children of divorce to the "widows and orphans" of this time. Many truly are. Some are fortunate to have continued support in parenting. Some struggle with the balance between the two.

As I meet more and more women of divorce, I am reminded how blessed I am. My house, my neighborhood, my "village", my ex. It has not always been easy, but I have been truly loved and supported throughout the process. It has strengthened my faith, and renewed my hope.

In all this time, I have never had a need go unmet.

Thank You, God...

Blessed Beyond My Wildest Imaginings....

I am blessed beyond my wildest imaginings.... truly. It's become my tag-line.... my personal slogan. It's the signature line under my name on my emails. It frequents my Facebook status. It is written on my heart. It is totally, totally amazing.

It was a few weeks back, when I was signing "Your grace is enough...." that the reality moved deeply into my heart. Fortunately, it was during rehearsal. As I signed "Your grace true enough. Your grace true satisfy", my heart skipped a beat - or two. When it started up again, my face was already wet from the tears that had sprung forth. My hands kept on signing, but in my ears, there was no music, only the knowing that "Your grace truly IS enough.... yet, I have been blessed with so much more..."

The first day of February.... I had eluded to some beautiful weather... hadn't anticipated it arriving on the FIRST day of February. Sure enough, it did. I arrived home from church to find that it was as warm outside as it was inside my house. My friends here are all saying "SO... that's not saying much!" (translation - my house is cold.) But 60 degrees inside AND outside, I say we open some windows and let in some fresh air! So I did.

I had the opportunity to peek at the maples and find the very beginnings of some buds. I assessed the work I have to do in the gardens. Major cleanup - and a few inspired additions - to the vegetable garden, adding some mulch to the flower beds. I made note of the continued transplantations as my yard continues to become my yard. I envisioned the addition of some more stones and the completion of a patio area, and the garden edging that will follow.

Hope. Dreams. Literally, new life. Abundant life.

I know it will be work... hard work. I don't mind hard work. I love watching it come to life and evolve. I love the process. I love the connection with God in the midst of the process, and the time to rest with Him when it is complete.

Funny the parallels in my own life. It will be work... hard work. Mostly, I don't mind the work - though honestly, often the physical labor is easier than the emotional / spiritual labor. I love the process, and I love the connection with God in the midst of it... and resting in His presence as each piece is complete.

I am blessed...Beyond my wildest imaginings....

You Will Be Safe....

I spent some time recently with an friend, discussing the ins and outs of personal growth. The process - the PAIN of the process. The fear that accompanies it. The physical, mental and emotional exhaustion - and then the clarity and peace - that follows. We both know that the only way through it, is through it. We long for the light at the end of the darkness, and we trust the process - and God's presence in the MIDST of it...even if He may seem very far away at the time.

What was interesting to me throughout our conversation, was the radio. As the topic would take on a particular focus, there would be song playing that addressed it. The topic would shift a little, and so would the song. It was a very real reminder to me that YES! God is present in the midst of it all. Standing right beside us -surrounding us actually- and our discussion.

I am grateful for friends like these. This day, it was her journey we were discussing. Another day, it will be mine. It is an honor to stand beside someone in the midst of their pain. I can't "fix" it for her, I know - just as no one can walk through my process but me. But I do know how it has been for me to have someone standing beside me as I do.

As I was reflecting on some of the things we said - since there always seem to be tidbits for me as well - this song came on:

Clouds will rage in
Storms will race in
But you will be safe in my arms
Rains will pour down
Waves will crash around
But you will be safe in my arms

I just smiled and smiled, closed my eyes and said "Thank You, God". Clouds WILL rage in, and storms WILL race in. Rains WILL pour down, and waves WILL crash around. And in the middle of all of that, I may feel like I am drowning, and I'll never make it. But I truly do believe...

I WILL be safe in His arms.

So will you, my friend....