I had returned home after a night of VBS planning meetings. First with the adults and then with the youth I am mentoring. The house was empty except for the kitten. The dog wagged his tail, hopefully, in his kennel, requesting my attention.
The laundry, neatly folded on my bed, begged to be put away. But first, I grabbed my bible, a snack and some matches, and headed outside. I lit the citronella candle and freed the dog. Returning to my seat, I flipped to the back of the Book. "The One Year Reading Plan".
I'd started late, and technically, I'm still "behind". I make some progress, then slip back again. I found my place and read a few days worth of the Old Testament, Psalms and The New Testament.
As I closed the cover, a page of notes I'd taken during a service I hadn't interpreted caught my eye. On the back was a sentence that had fascinated me then, and resonated with me at that moment as well.
"Something is being achieved irregardless of our perceived success or failure".
I needed to hear that.
I'd done a few things on my To Do list - but not as much as I would have liked.
I'd done OK with my food choices that day - but not as good as I would have liked.
I'd made progress with the laundry - but not yet completed the task.
Other things are undone that need to be completed.
With time, I believe they will be.... what I doubt is whether I'll ever have enough time.
But to remember, that SOMETHING is being achieved, gives me hope. My perception of "success" or "failure", "good" or "bad".... irrelevant. I can't see the whole picture. I only see my little part... and not always very clearly.
Help me to trust that Your will is unfolding - whether I can see it or not.
Showing posts with label perceptions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label perceptions. Show all posts
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Answers are Within...
"The answers are within" is one of those phrases that I believe is true.... from the right perspective. I also believe that through the years, the focus has shifted... and the caveat lost: "within me" doesn't mean "from me"...
More often than not, when I am searching for an answer, I already know it.... I am just not yet willing to acknowledge it. In those situations, I'll keep coming back to it, but deny it over and over again.
"Can't be right... too easy".
"Can't be right... too hard".
"Can't be right... it just can't".
"Can't be right... I don't want that!"
Yet, I keep returning to it....finally, I surrender. The whirling in my brain ceases, and my heart can begin it's journey. In the end, I realize " Yup, it's right".
There are also times when I truly don't know the answer. I seek council from friends, advisors, the internet. Finally, when I've exhausted those options, I take time to sit with God. I ask Him for guidance, wisdom, discernment.... courage, humility, grace. There, I find answers.
One important note, however....
They are not MY answers. They are not answers based upon MY "wisdom", MY will/power, MY authority. Those "answers" get me into trouble... fast! My answers are based in fear, in extremes, and in avoiding painful situations. His are based in love, balance and grace. Sometimes they are messy.... and painful. But, they lead to truth, and abundant life. They free me from my chains.
The answers are within me. Whisperings of the Spirit. When I am quiet enough to listen, I hear. When I am stubborn enough to ignore, He waits patiently, or speaks louder. When I continue in my ways, I reap what I sow.
May I listen. May I hear. May I walk where You lead.
More often than not, when I am searching for an answer, I already know it.... I am just not yet willing to acknowledge it. In those situations, I'll keep coming back to it, but deny it over and over again.
"Can't be right... too easy".
"Can't be right... too hard".
"Can't be right... it just can't".
"Can't be right... I don't want that!"
Yet, I keep returning to it....finally, I surrender. The whirling in my brain ceases, and my heart can begin it's journey. In the end, I realize " Yup, it's right".
There are also times when I truly don't know the answer. I seek council from friends, advisors, the internet. Finally, when I've exhausted those options, I take time to sit with God. I ask Him for guidance, wisdom, discernment.... courage, humility, grace. There, I find answers.
One important note, however....
They are not MY answers. They are not answers based upon MY "wisdom", MY will/power, MY authority. Those "answers" get me into trouble... fast! My answers are based in fear, in extremes, and in avoiding painful situations. His are based in love, balance and grace. Sometimes they are messy.... and painful. But, they lead to truth, and abundant life. They free me from my chains.
The answers are within me. Whisperings of the Spirit. When I am quiet enough to listen, I hear. When I am stubborn enough to ignore, He waits patiently, or speaks louder. When I continue in my ways, I reap what I sow.
May I listen. May I hear. May I walk where You lead.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Be Who You Are...
I recently started reading "Respectable Sins: Confronting the sins we tolerate". I can tell it is one of those books that I will read more than once. I am reading with a pencil, underlining the words, phrased and concepts that stand out to me.
Sitting in the car rider line at the Elementary School, I read. The author was describing the way our society has focused sin through an easier, softer lens - if we identify it at all - making it easier to minimize, overlook and tolerate.
He also calls us to "Be who you are". (whoa!)
He likens Christians to officers in the military - set apart for a distinct purpose, with distinct standards of conduct. Big or small infractions, he likens to "behavior unbecoming of an officer". Interesting concept. I thought of that for a long while... and of the "be who you are".
I've been aware lately of many ways that some great wisdom has been focused through a "world view" - and totally destroyed, or at least distorted. "Be who you are", for example. My perspective of "who I am", defines, how I live (which is true!). Through a worldly view of "who I am", my behavior would be very different than through a Biblical view. My thoughts, actions and perceptions are totally different - based entirely on the starting point... and where I set my eyes. Woman of God, or Woman of the world?
Daughter of the King. Set aside for God. Moriah - "God is my teacher". That is who I am. Is that who the world sees?
It was later on - in the bathroom, of all places - when the question hit. I'm not entirely sure if it hit my head or my heart - I felt it between the eyes. "Why are you afraid to be who God would have you be?" Not "ARE you....?", but "WHY are you....?"
Those are love/hate questions for me.... I love it that they come, and the process of working through them, hopefully discovering an answer and assisting in the removal of some of my stumbling blocks... but I hate it that they come, and the process of working through them. Sometimes, I'm not fond of answers and would prefer to keep my stumbling blocks, thank You very much....
I do not speak very publicly about my faith... though, as He would have it, I was given an opportunity to do so that very evening. "Be bold in your faith", I have heard again and again... and as I write this, the radio sings "Let my life song sing to You..."
May I be bold in my faith. May my Life Song sing to You. May I be who I am... the woman You would have me be.
Sitting in the car rider line at the Elementary School, I read. The author was describing the way our society has focused sin through an easier, softer lens - if we identify it at all - making it easier to minimize, overlook and tolerate.
He also calls us to "Be who you are". (whoa!)
He likens Christians to officers in the military - set apart for a distinct purpose, with distinct standards of conduct. Big or small infractions, he likens to "behavior unbecoming of an officer". Interesting concept. I thought of that for a long while... and of the "be who you are".
I've been aware lately of many ways that some great wisdom has been focused through a "world view" - and totally destroyed, or at least distorted. "Be who you are", for example. My perspective of "who I am", defines, how I live (which is true!). Through a worldly view of "who I am", my behavior would be very different than through a Biblical view. My thoughts, actions and perceptions are totally different - based entirely on the starting point... and where I set my eyes. Woman of God, or Woman of the world?
Daughter of the King. Set aside for God. Moriah - "God is my teacher". That is who I am. Is that who the world sees?
It was later on - in the bathroom, of all places - when the question hit. I'm not entirely sure if it hit my head or my heart - I felt it between the eyes. "Why are you afraid to be who God would have you be?" Not "ARE you....?", but "WHY are you....?"
Those are love/hate questions for me.... I love it that they come, and the process of working through them, hopefully discovering an answer and assisting in the removal of some of my stumbling blocks... but I hate it that they come, and the process of working through them. Sometimes, I'm not fond of answers and would prefer to keep my stumbling blocks, thank You very much....
I do not speak very publicly about my faith... though, as He would have it, I was given an opportunity to do so that very evening. "Be bold in your faith", I have heard again and again... and as I write this, the radio sings "Let my life song sing to You..."
May I be bold in my faith. May my Life Song sing to You. May I be who I am... the woman You would have me be.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Barefoot...
I love this quote by Elizabeth Barret Browning:
"Earth is crammed with heaven,
and every common bush is on fire with God;
but only he who sees takes off his shoes;
the rest sit around it and pluck blackberries."
and every common bush is on fire with God;
but only he who sees takes off his shoes;
the rest sit around it and pluck blackberries."
It summarizes my perspective very well... Earth *IS* crammed with heaven. The question, is, am I the barefoot one, or am I so busy plucking blackberries that I don't notice.
Life can get very busy very quickly - two kids, 3-4 jobs (depending on the season), my service work at church, school, home... Add something like the Christmas Season, and it's easy to get focused on the things right in front of me begging for attention - the blackberries, begging to be picked.
I remember sharing that quote with my sister at one point in our lives, and she replied, "but what's wrong with plucking blackberries?" Nothing, I suppose. I enjoy blackberries - I enjoy my kids, my jobs, my service work.
But, being in and acknowledging the presence of God... that goes beyond words. Experiencing His presence, and responding in humility by removing my shoes... blackberries will never come close...
May I feel You in my life - may I take time to remove my shoes.
Friday, November 21, 2008
"It's all good"
There is a woman in my life whom I really admire. Her motto "It's all good". More often than not, that is her response to any situation. Her optimism and enthusiasm for life and learning is contagious, and I am encouraged and restored when I have spent some time in her presence.
But, I struggled with that for a while ... sometimes I thought, "uhm... no, this kinda SUCKS". And then I thought back to the other times in my life that have "kinda sucked". With enough time and perspective, all the things that "sucked" turned out to be wonderful gifts. The event themselves, may not seem like a gift - especially not at the time - but some truly were, and others were indirectly. Others caused me enough pain to get off my duff and DO something different.
More often than not my moments of being "stalked" appear this way - difficult - though often with enough grace and support to keep me focused on walking through.
"It's all good". In every situation there is good. If it's not clearly evident, I need to keep walking on faith until I have enough distance and perspective to see it.
Thank you God for the good in my life... even that which is disguised as struggle.
But, I struggled with that for a while ... sometimes I thought, "uhm... no, this kinda SUCKS". And then I thought back to the other times in my life that have "kinda sucked". With enough time and perspective, all the things that "sucked" turned out to be wonderful gifts. The event themselves, may not seem like a gift - especially not at the time - but some truly were, and others were indirectly. Others caused me enough pain to get off my duff and DO something different.
More often than not my moments of being "stalked" appear this way - difficult - though often with enough grace and support to keep me focused on walking through.
"It's all good". In every situation there is good. If it's not clearly evident, I need to keep walking on faith until I have enough distance and perspective to see it.
Thank you God for the good in my life... even that which is disguised as struggle.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Change is in the Air
Change is definitely in the air. I noticed it a couple of nights ago, when I was taking the dog out. There was the still quiet and the brisk coolness (dare I say "cold"?) that accompanies the coming of winter. I thought back through the day, as the dog ran through the yard. Driving to school - my turn in the carpool - the trees were shedding their leaves with the assistance of the wind. I felt like a kid running under the petals that fall off of the douglas pears in the spring. The leaves created a brilliant, sparkling sort of curtain as they fell - and I drove right through... laughing.
It was a beautiful day - blue blue sky, and the trees ablaze with the peak of their color. "What color tree is your favorite, Mommy?" my son asked. "I like the trees that are 'all colorful' ", I replied. He asked what I meant by that. "All colorful" is one of our family phrases - which basically means "multicolored". I told him I liked the trees that had red, orange, yellow AND green in them, and we set out on a search for one just like that on the ride home. There were several!
Now, a few days later, the sky is still blue, but many of the leaves have fallen, so the color is now on the ground. The air is cooler, and frost greets us in the mornings. This morning, I elected to wear "shoes" rather than flip-flops.
More often than not, when we are home, there is a fire in the fireplace. Candles are burning again, so the house smells like cinnamon and pumpkin. Another few weeks, and I'll trade the pumpkin for true winter scents like mistletoe and cedar.
The calendar says we have another 6 weeks before winter arrives - and I'm OK with that. I'm just aware that change is in the air. And that is good for me. Being aware of transitions helps me to not feel ambushed by the sudden arrival of what's next. It means I'm paying attention.
It is a truly spectacular time of year. The gathering of the abundant harvest, preparing for the quiet time of rest.
It was a beautiful day - blue blue sky, and the trees ablaze with the peak of their color. "What color tree is your favorite, Mommy?" my son asked. "I like the trees that are 'all colorful' ", I replied. He asked what I meant by that. "All colorful" is one of our family phrases - which basically means "multicolored". I told him I liked the trees that had red, orange, yellow AND green in them, and we set out on a search for one just like that on the ride home. There were several!
Now, a few days later, the sky is still blue, but many of the leaves have fallen, so the color is now on the ground. The air is cooler, and frost greets us in the mornings. This morning, I elected to wear "shoes" rather than flip-flops.
More often than not, when we are home, there is a fire in the fireplace. Candles are burning again, so the house smells like cinnamon and pumpkin. Another few weeks, and I'll trade the pumpkin for true winter scents like mistletoe and cedar.
The calendar says we have another 6 weeks before winter arrives - and I'm OK with that. I'm just aware that change is in the air. And that is good for me. Being aware of transitions helps me to not feel ambushed by the sudden arrival of what's next. It means I'm paying attention.
It is a truly spectacular time of year. The gathering of the abundant harvest, preparing for the quiet time of rest.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Life in the Fast Lane...
This thought came to me as I was - sadly enough - at the drive-thru of McDonald's after work this week: "Why is it that I settle for this?" It's not really what I want. It's not at all healthy for me. So why am I here?
It is "convenient". Convenient? Is it worth the "convenience"? I don't know. (which in this case means: "No, but I'm not willing to admit that yet!") *sigh*
I broaden that thought and wonder what other things I "settle" for in the name of "convenience". What things I do simply because I can? What things do I gather into my life simply because they are there for the taking? I know that things of value take time and effort - preparing meals, tending gardens, building and maintaining relationships, just to name a few! I know that not all things that are out there "for the taking" bring value to my life, or glory to God. Some days are easier to put effort into than others. Some things are easier left behind than others. Some concepts are easier to grasp than others.
I think back to when bottled water was new on the market. I was outraged - a DOLLAR for a bottle of water? NO WAY was I paying THAT!! Instead, I'd pay $1.29 for a diet coke that I didn't really want. What I wanted was water. But, my perception of what was reasonable, was skewed. (oh how stupid I felt when I realized what I was doing!!)
Along the same lines, but with a little different twist - I wonder how many times the phrase from the song "Hold me Jesus" is true in my life. "I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want, than take what you give that I need" I wonder how often I refuse to let go of something that is ultimately making my life more difficult to maintain the illusion of "control".
I am sure I would be astounded to find out how much time I would have if I would let go of some of those things. Things that I do, simply because I can, rather than because I should. Time - precious time. Time I could use to be still. To simply be. To do things that I enjoy. Freeing my life up of the 'conveniences' to savor the delicacies of life... wow. What a concept!
There is a feast set before me! How often do I choose "fast food" because I am too impatient to wait for God's preparations to be complete? How often do I overlook the abundance waiting for me because my gaze is focused on that which I am holding tightly in my grasp? How often to I fill my life up with stuff simply to have it? When will I learn?
It is "convenient". Convenient? Is it worth the "convenience"? I don't know. (which in this case means: "No, but I'm not willing to admit that yet!") *sigh*
I broaden that thought and wonder what other things I "settle" for in the name of "convenience". What things I do simply because I can? What things do I gather into my life simply because they are there for the taking? I know that things of value take time and effort - preparing meals, tending gardens, building and maintaining relationships, just to name a few! I know that not all things that are out there "for the taking" bring value to my life, or glory to God. Some days are easier to put effort into than others. Some things are easier left behind than others. Some concepts are easier to grasp than others.
I think back to when bottled water was new on the market. I was outraged - a DOLLAR for a bottle of water? NO WAY was I paying THAT!! Instead, I'd pay $1.29 for a diet coke that I didn't really want. What I wanted was water. But, my perception of what was reasonable, was skewed. (oh how stupid I felt when I realized what I was doing!!)
Along the same lines, but with a little different twist - I wonder how many times the phrase from the song "Hold me Jesus" is true in my life. "I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want, than take what you give that I need" I wonder how often I refuse to let go of something that is ultimately making my life more difficult to maintain the illusion of "control".
I am sure I would be astounded to find out how much time I would have if I would let go of some of those things. Things that I do, simply because I can, rather than because I should. Time - precious time. Time I could use to be still. To simply be. To do things that I enjoy. Freeing my life up of the 'conveniences' to savor the delicacies of life... wow. What a concept!
There is a feast set before me! How often do I choose "fast food" because I am too impatient to wait for God's preparations to be complete? How often do I overlook the abundance waiting for me because my gaze is focused on that which I am holding tightly in my grasp? How often to I fill my life up with stuff simply to have it? When will I learn?
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