Moments of Gratitude: Honest Conversation

I am continually amazed at how God works in my life. How people show up just when I need them to, or bring up something that they need to talk through...and happen to invite me to the task of listening and responding.

With those people the rules for conversing include:

"I will speak the truth, even though you may not want to hear it"
"I will speak lovingly"
"I will hold up mirrors and help you see what you are projecting to the world"
"I will ask questions and challenge you to work through it"
"I will not betray your trust"
"I will laugh with you, but not at you"
"I will hold the space and honor your pain and your sorrow".

With these people, I can discuss freely, and know that I will hear honestly what they see in a situation where I may be blinded. Following such a conversation, I realize again and again, what a true gift of friendship and of love honest conversation is.

Often, in the midst of such a conversation - one where I am holding mirrors, providing feedback and helping to 'process' - I am reminded of something that I need to hear. Ironically enough, out of my own mouth.

In helping and loving another, I am helped and loved in return.

Thank you God for honest conversation.

Deep Cleaning

It was an evening of "deep cleaning". The kids were away, and I was steam cleaning my carpets. I had borrowed the steam cleaner from a friend of mine, in hopes of being able to get the house in top shape for the holidays. I had intended for it to be a day long project, but an unexpected (and now rare!) opportunity to work some overtime at the hospital turned it into an evening project. The first of several, I'm sure!

I moved the little bookcase in the hall and started there, turning briefly into the entry of my son's room, in hopes that this would be effective on the cherry-colored Kool-aid stain just inside his doorway.

I then headed to the living room. This room is well-loved. Kids - mine and others' - the dog and I spend a lot of time there. It's the major thoroughfare between the front door and the back deck, and it abuts the island where we eat. It's also original to the house, which makes it long past it's expected lifespan.

I moved the small furniture and miscellaneous 'stuff' out of the way, an turned to look at the dog laying in his kennel. He had tried to protect me from the loud creature that had invaded the hall and was moving into the great room.

I became aware of the life-parallel as I was moving back and forth over the cream colored carpet below my feet. Sometimes my life needs a "deep clean". Sometimes, when I do, I must over and over the same area - from all different angles - untangling the fibers of habit and routine, trying to get the stains out.

Sometimes, the help of friends - like the one who lent me the steam cleaner - facilitate the process, but mostly, it's something I must do on my own.

It's amazing to me, too - to see the waste-water. I am amazed - and appalled - at how dirty it looks. It's not like I don't vacuum routinely. There is general care and maintenance in my home and in my life. But, in "deep clean" mode, the day to day "dirt" gets highlighted - and hopefully removed.

As I finish for the evening - I'll repeat the process tomorrow or the next day! I am amazed at how pleased I am with the results. I am amazed how the work I put into it shows.

And then I free the dog from his cage. I witness another parallel. He seems less than pleased with what has happened in his life, as a result of what has happened in mine. Some of the changes are temporary - the furniture will be returned to it's rightful place once the floor is dry. But, it is noticeably different. I assume, by the way he sniffed around continuously, it smells differently.

He finishes sniffing around and goes straight for the cleaner. He bangs it with his nose, pushing it backwards toward the wall. When it refuses to be pushed further, he barks his disdain. He continues until I call to him, and beckon him to me, rubbing his back and his belly. "It's OK, Jake. It's a Good thing", I reassure him. He needs to settle down - the process has only yet begun!

It's a good thing... May the process continued unhindered!

Parallels of Decluttering

I was cleaning the playroom. Not a typical simply-put-things-away kind of cleaning, but the kind of true inventorying, and sorting through that must happen from time to time. I went through the bins, and sorted miscellaneous pieces into their appropriate groups. The puzzles that were scattered on the floor were completed to assess for missing pieces. Broken items were tossed, and long outgrown or forgotten trinkets were packed in a box to give to others to enjoy.

Partway through the process, I stopped and looked around. "Oh wow!" I thought "This place is a disaster!". Piles here and there, bags of trash being filled and waiting to be carted off.

It took time, and effort - and quite honestly a few kleenex, as I had managed to stir up a little dust, which got my eyes watering and my nose running. Other typical daily tasks got put aside for the day. But, when it was complete, it was worth it. Well worth it. It looked like a new room!

After I'd finished, I passed by the open front door. I peered out the glass storm door at the beautiful autumn day, and I stopped. Just stopped. I turned back toward the playroom as the realization hit me.

SOOOOOO....THAT is what is happening. The playroom became symbolic of the recent events in my life. I have been decluttering. I have been sorting through, and getting rid of the things in my life that are broken, outgrown or forgotten.

No wonder I'm exhausted. No wonder I feel behind in the tasks of daily life. No wonder I feel like I am living surrounded by piles and boxes.... I AM!! As I have done with the playroom, I am doing with my life. Cleaning it out...

The insight helped me to feel renewed. It also restored hope. I am on the right path. I am doing as I should. There will be order and peace again.

I smiled, grateful for the realization, and for the assurance that I hadn't completely lost my mind. It is as it should be. It is a time of sorting, decluttering and renewal!

Ahhhhhh....

Now... to tackle my closet!