The Plans He Has For Me

Jeremiah 29:11 may be one of my favorite verses in the bible. It reminds me that when all else fails, when I am feeling beaten down and wandering, that He has plans for me.

Long before the foundations of the earth were laid, He had plans for me. Good plans!

I think back and wonder if I have ever asked Him to clearly show me His plans for me. Perhaps I have.... in bits and pieces. "What is Your plan for me ...in this...?" Perhaps He has been showing me over and over again, and I have been looking in other directions, so around the mountain again I go. Perhaps I have difficulty believing the magnitude of these gifts. Perhaps some of the gifts are not wrapped in packages that I recognize as such. Perhaps I think, "He couldn't possibly want ME to do that... ME? "

Some bits, I've heard clearly. In some areas of my life, I have no doubt of His plans for me. Through my tears and my fears, I have walked - willingly or reluctantly - never sure what lay on the other side of the call to action, but sure I needed to go. Other times, when I've asked for clarity or prayed specifically about something, it feels as if He is saying "FINALLY, you ask - it's what I've wanted for you all along..."

I wonder sometimes how big the puzzle of my life is, and if I have all the pieces. Are there more that I still have to find? Will He give them to me if I ask? I wonder what lies down the paths I walk.

The terrains differ from season to season. At times it seems like the journey is all uphill. Sometimes the fields are lush with rolling hills. Sometime we sit and rest.

It's rare that I feel alone these days, but I wonder how many times I wander off, chasing this or that. I am sure there are times that I've resembled a toddler on a summer night, lost in the wonder of a field of fireflies. But, before long, He calls me back to the path we were walking - together, He and I.

Many times, it is not in the front of my mind. You have called me to mother, and to heal. You have given me a listening ear, a willing heart and a centering spirit. Gratitude and organization come easy to me. Words are my friend. These things I know. When I am still enough to appreciate these gifts, I know. But life can be a field of fireflies, and I, a toddler.

So, He calls me back. Back to learn. Back to walk toward and in the plans He has for me.

Tonight these questions were put before me again. As I heard him speak, and I read the paper I held in my hands, there was that stirring deep within. "Are you listening? Pay attention! This is important!!" That still, small voice inside clearly whispers.

So, driving home, I asked.... aloud...."Help me to know Your plans for me. Guide me. Lead me. Keep me on the path that is Your plan for me...."

I am beginning to believe that it is no co-incidence that this is being asked of me while I have some time for reflection. May I use it wisely!

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Be Here Now....

Several women I have spoken with lately have all had the same thing to share: "I want my brain back!" And here I thought it was just me...

Seriously, though.... so many women I've spoken will all share the same feelings of disarray. Our houses are a mess and we can't be sure the we've done what we were supposed to.

This week for me was Girl Scout fall product distribution. I came up two tins short at distribution. So, now the task becomes figuring out if I didn't order enough, didn't receive enough, or send an extra tin with a couple of girls.

It seems the more I hurry through, the more time I take trying to figure out what I've done.

I am 100% sure that it is NOT a coincidence that I have taught 5 extra yoga classes the past two weeks. I needed time to breathe and be still - to stretch and find balance, even if just for a moment.

Thursday night, I heard myself say something that hung with me for a while. "Be. Here. Now."

I had been talking about leaving the events of the day at the door, and not picking up the events for the evening or the next day - Allowing the yoga room to be "sacred space", where we could simply Be. Here. Now.

Thoughts and feelings from other days, gone. Plans and memories, gone. Breath in, breath out. Simple as that.

hmmm. Simple as that.

Be.

Here.

Now.

May I remember.... May I listen...

May I

Be.

Here.

Now.

The Perfection of God's Timing

I am continually amazed at the perfection of God's timing. Things come and things go, and when I keep my hands out of the midst of it, it works SO much better.

There has been an opportunity knocking at my door lately. It first appeared on my radar in early spring. But that was it, a mention of it. A planting of a seed. Then, a dormant period.

Life went on, and I didn't think of it much, until the end of the summer when it knocked on my door. I answered and did as it requested. And then I waited.

A younger version of myself would likely have tried to knock, knock, KNOCK incessantly. But this felt different. As I have grown and matured, I have learned the value in "wait".

So, I waited.... and I waited some more. I knocked gently, stepped back and continued to wait. One more time I knocked gently. Then, I let it go.

"This is not mine to force," I thought to myself. If God's not in it, I don't want it.

A month has passed, and it has come back knocking. In the mean time, God has removed any urgency I felt about it.

I answered again, responding afirmatively again. This time, I was given a little more information and a timeline.

This opportunity will require a little of my time - physical and emotional. There will be a learning curve, which excites me, rather than terrifying me.

I looked at my calendar, so get a feel for how this might impact daily life. I smiled and I laughed and I smiled some more.

"Coincidentally", I have several weeks where my work schedule is lighter than usual - vacation and holidays and some flexing of time. "Coincidentally", this opportunity, according to the timeline, will begin right about then.

Thank You God for taking care of the details of my life, and for your perfect, perfect timing!

Holding on to Faith and Gratitude

"Change is in the air" indeed. oh boy. Little did I know, I'd feel some of it so soon in MY life as well. (I should have known....but that's neither here nor there.) Two things have come up recently - well, really, it's the *same* thing, in two different places. And, when that happens, it really gets my attention...

So, I have spent a lot of time, as these things have unfolded, holding onto faith. I know - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that I will be cared for, loved and my needs met. But I have a love-hate relationship with change.

I love it in the fact that it means new growth and life in a new - and always better - way. But, I hate it because it means, well," change". That which I have known is passing. The rules change, and so do the outcomes.

I have been through "change" enough to know that it will all turn out well in the end, but that doesn't keep me from saying "I hate it!" in the process. So I hold onto faith as I await the unfolding of the events.

And as I hold tightly to faith, I am reminded of how much I have for which I am grateful. My family, our home, the fact that all of our needs have always been met. I have truly wonderful friends with whom I can share, and who love and support me. Blessing upon blessing have been poured over me. Love exists. Hope exists. Joy exists. And they all live here with me. What have I to fear? Nothing.

So, walk forth, I will.... strengthened in faith and overflowing with gratitude.

Colossians 2:5-8 (New International Version)

5For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.

6So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.

8See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.

Facing the Music

So, you should have seen me after church on Sunday afternoon. There I was "Tending the Earth", and I just started shaking my head, and laughing quietly to myself. I had been thinking of the events of the morning; that bridge still running through my head. "Lift up your head, oh, oh, oh, Lift up your head, Look on Him...". Then the thought of the video recorder, and YouTube. I don't care much for pictures, and video, in my opinion, is even worse. Yes, it's wonderful for kids and cute animal things, but for ME... uhm... no, thank you. It's too..... honest.

THAT's when I start laughing and shaking my head. Hadn't I just written the other day about how I didn't always LIKE honesty, but I needed to walk toward the truth. *sigh*. Well, here we go.

My mentor and I have discussed using video tape as a means of objective feedback for our interpreting. We could sit and watch together, critiquing as we went along. I like the concept. I think it would be beneficial. Yet, we've both drug our feet in the implementation of it. I think He may be telling us it's time to do exactly that.

But.... YouTube? Don't get me wrong, I like YouTube, but... there is something disconcerting about knowing that my mistakes are going to be "out there" visible to God-only-knows how many people. It's... well, very humbling. "Another opportunity to embrace my imperfections", I suppose. A chance to let go of my pride and admit to the world, that yes, I am human. I do make mistakes.

It's also an opportunity to learn - for that I am grateful. It's an opportunity to walk toward the Truth... as much as I'd like to pretend the video tape didn't exist.

Yes, I could have kept this under wraps - my 'little secret'. But I have learned (the hard way!) that keeping secrets, and hiding myself from the world is not in my best interests. And, I have friends who I'm sure would have discovered it, and confronted me with the fact that I hadn't shared. The joys of being loved.

It's time to face the music,... and the honesty of a video camera. How appropriate the words... "Lift up your head, oh, oh, oh, Lift up your head...." I so don't want to look.

So, today, I am walking on faith that my fear of facing the truth is worse than actually walking through it. I guess I'll know for sure once the video is published and "out there".

"....oh, oh, oh, Lift up your head, Look on Him..."

Coincidence, NOT!

I do not believe in coincidence. I've heard it said that "Coincidence happens when God wants to remain anonymous".... well.... His cover has been blown in my eyes!

When I start to notice coincidental events occurring in my life, I pause. I become very still and I listen. More shall be revealed.

When these events come repeatedly, they become a confirmation. Confirmation of a question I've asked of Him, or of an obedience that He's requested of me. Then, I REALLY pause - and pray for willingness. I begin to suspect He is at work in my life. (Again)

When the confirmations continue to come, I am stopped dead in my tracks, praying for courage. I know He is working in my life and wants my cooperation. Most times, it seems it would be easier to run the opposite direction. Many times, that seems like the wiser choice as well. But, I have been shown, time and time again, that with willingness and courage, I am able to walk the path He is setting before me (even if I don't know where we're going). If I follow His path, peace, joy and healing are sure to follow.

Is it coincidence that I am planning a personal retreat this week and suddenly, my week is free of after-school childcare responsibilities? I don't think so.... More shall be revealed.

Is it coincidence that I recently received an email from a woman I've never met (we've happened to read each others' blogs). "Coincidentally", our life stories are surprisingly similar. Coincidence? I don't think so.... More shall be revealed.

So,here I stand, dead in my tracks, praying for willingness and courage. I will, in faith walk forward. More shall be revealed.