Waiting Upon the Lord....

My father would have told you that I was BORN impatient. (He did, in fact, tell me that... repeatedly...) Apparently, I couldn't wait for my due date and arrived two weeks early. So, clearly, it's in my nature and it's something I struggle with from time to time.

I'd found myself frustrated with several things by the end of the week, and went to sleep Saturday night asking God a lot of "why" s and "how long" s.

There has also been a lot of talk in my world about "follow through". You know, doing what you say, sticking with something through completion, and doing the next right thing because it is the next right thing to do.

A book that I have been reading as well, talks about the fact that diets don't fail, we fail to stick to them. (The exact quote - that hit me between the eyes and smack dab in the middle of my heart when I opened the book for the first time, to that exact page where the words jumped off the page at me - is: "How many diets does it take to lose weight? Only the one you stick to." Ouch.)

So there I sit, Sunday morning, at work, idly tracing my collar bone with my finger. I noticed it was a little more prominent, but my weight has been one of the "why" s and "how long" s I had been discussing with God. (Trust me, I know the answer to both of those - that book made it VERY clear to me... again...) As all of those thoughts swirled through my head, I glanced up.

On the counter was a statue of an eagle with a plaque. It read:

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. ~~Isaiah 40:31 "

And there it was. Again. *whap* between the eyes and deep into my heart.

"But they that wait upon the Lord..." "They that wait" get these things. Not those that jump out and try to do it in their own way and in their own time. I've tried that. Didn't work so hot.

Once again, God speaks, and I was reminded: It's in HIS timing. Not mine.

Stronger with Each Tear

In each tear (each tear)
there’s a lesson, (there’s a lesson)
Makes you wiser than before (wiser)
Makes you stronger than you know
In each tear ( Make you so much more)
Bring you closer to your dreams
No mistake, no heartbreak
Can take away what your meant to be


"Somehow" I came across the words "Stronger with Each Tear", and the artist Mary Blige. I think I was searching Youtube for a sample of a new song that we'll be doing at church this week. Clearly, I was at the table when I found it, since the words were scribbled on a napkin.

Tonight, I searched first for the lyrics and then on Youtube to hear the song itself. Not *really* my style of music, but sort of ballad-like, so I could hear it through.

Fortunately, I am not currently in a season of life that is characterized by strength-building tears. But I certainly have been there....and I know others that are in the midst of it now.

There are definitely lessons in the tears, and strength in the weakness and brokenness of those periods of life. In those times when "I" am broken, and "I" am feeling weak, the "I"-focus loses its hold. In those times, I am better able to let go of MY agendas and follow His plan.

Mistakes, heartbreaks, in my life... oh yes. Grieving the loss and the wish - which both come from an "I"-perspective - opens me up to better hear what God has in store for me.

From there, I can walk anew..... until, of course *I* take charge again....

God's Perfect Timing

I love the days when God seems to "show off". It was a Typical Thursday. Start the morning driving carpool, go straight to the Moms in Touch prayer group, pack a lunch, head to school for the remainder of the day. From school, it's another round of carpool, that ends us straight to gymnastics for the girl, then karate for the boy. This week, ended in a parent meeting with the Board of Education (and a kid-free trip to Wal*mart, since I had a sitter anyhow!)

It was a little different this week in that during the time I'm usually AT school, I had several PTO related errands to do, before the "enrichment" class I've been leading for some third grade students.

The day had started smoothly - it only took 10 reminders to get my kids up, dressed and fed, compared to the usual 30,000. I got to the prayer group just in time, to the school just in time. It was when I was at the grocery store, picking up the gift cards for delivery that afternoon, and the woman said "I JUST entered these into the system", that I realized HOW smoothly everything had gone. Far beyond my ability to coordinate and time events.

I smiled to myself. On my way back to the school, I glanced at the clock. As I pulled into the parking lot, the thought "I'll never get these all distributed" had not COMPLETELY formed in my brain when the phone rang.

Enrichment had been canceled for the day. "Thank you, thank you, thank you God!"

May Friday (the 13th) run as smoothly, as I tie up all the loose ends preparing for "The Girl Party".

The Perfection of God's Timing

I am continually amazed at the perfection of God's timing. Things come and things go, and when I keep my hands out of the midst of it, it works SO much better.

There has been an opportunity knocking at my door lately. It first appeared on my radar in early spring. But that was it, a mention of it. A planting of a seed. Then, a dormant period.

Life went on, and I didn't think of it much, until the end of the summer when it knocked on my door. I answered and did as it requested. And then I waited.

A younger version of myself would likely have tried to knock, knock, KNOCK incessantly. But this felt different. As I have grown and matured, I have learned the value in "wait".

So, I waited.... and I waited some more. I knocked gently, stepped back and continued to wait. One more time I knocked gently. Then, I let it go.

"This is not mine to force," I thought to myself. If God's not in it, I don't want it.

A month has passed, and it has come back knocking. In the mean time, God has removed any urgency I felt about it.

I answered again, responding afirmatively again. This time, I was given a little more information and a timeline.

This opportunity will require a little of my time - physical and emotional. There will be a learning curve, which excites me, rather than terrifying me.

I looked at my calendar, so get a feel for how this might impact daily life. I smiled and I laughed and I smiled some more.

"Coincidentally", I have several weeks where my work schedule is lighter than usual - vacation and holidays and some flexing of time. "Coincidentally", this opportunity, according to the timeline, will begin right about then.

Thank You God for taking care of the details of my life, and for your perfect, perfect timing!