Saturday, January 8, 2011

Looking Back

It is amazing to me how things come to pass.

Because of my "flood" yesterday, the focus of today was putting the bathroom back together. The big bookcase of towels and "stuff" was in the middle of the floor, and the counter was covered with miscellaneous things that got relocated in the process of drying the vents. It was all a mess, but, the bookcase was the biggest challenge to tackle. It needed to go back into it's place because the chaos was causing me a bit of anxiety as I walked into the room.

I scrubbed the floor and the baseboard and dusted the walls - not because they had been wet, but because they had been untouched since I moved that bookcase to it's "spot" nearly 5 years ago. The collection of bottle tops and little marbles that the cat had lost underneath it were swept away, and floor clean, I could move it back.

It needed dusting. I grabbed my cloth and went to work, starting at the top. Each piece in there has a story. As I picked up each on, the memories returned. There was the bear figurine that my friend Karen gave me for my birthday the year she died. And the porcelain gift box that was hers that was given to me after she died. The three brass candlesticks reminded me of my family, and the Trinity, and all I have learned over the years about ropes with three cords being stronger than those with only one or two. The picture of my eldest nephew - first born grandchild - from 13 years ago, some maracas from Peru or Nicaragua, I forget which. A basket from Africa. A shell ornament from a women I worked with in North Carolina, and my treasured Willow Tree Angels - Healing and Love.

Moving down a shelf, I found my cloth up a clay statue of a kneeling women I made my first time in New Mexico, and bits of turquoise from when I returned several years later. I found the turquoise necklace that was a string of turquoise beads that I had put a clasp on. That I placed around my neck. I don't know how long it's been since I've worn it, but when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I said "I remember that girl!"

There was a cross that I had made from twigs of an old pine tree that I sat below and pondered life and my part in it. It stands up on a rock I gathered in my soul-searching trip to Chaco Canyon (NM), but I sat up a similar one beneath that pine tree. Another cross I stumbled upon was my first. I searched for it in the mercado the summer I spent in Mexico. I don't remember exactly WHERE I got it, but I do remember heading there with the intent of buying one.

The rings that say "Wisdom", "Courage" and "Strength" that were in my pocket the day I returned my wedding ring to the altar in front of which I was married, I picked up and wore on my hand for a while as I continued to walk through the journey.

As I think back through it all, it just completely amazes me.

The grace and guidance and love and protection of God I will never completely understand, but I am grateful to have experienced a bit of it.... and for the moments I have keen awareness of His presence in my life.

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