Monday, May 17, 2010

Surrendering to my Humanity

I took an opportunity to surrender to my humanity today. Begrudgingly.

But, I really didn't have any other choice. (Which is usually how and why I surrender.)

I had volunteered to work the night shift for one of my coworkers so that she could go to a family wedding. Each time I work nights, I realize how much I hate it and how much it messes with my life - in very real physical ways. I feel awful! I feel like I am watching myself wander around with my brain kicking in a few minutes behind.

Typically, if I work a Saturday night, I decaffeinate myself and head to church Sunday morning- at least through the opening worship music set. About 3:30 Sunday morning, I knew there was no way I'd make it.

Instead, I spend the drive home praying - primarily for safety and wakefulness until I pulled into my driveway.

As I think about "surrendering to my humanity" - and how difficult that can be for me - and look at some of the things happening around me, I see lessons on "balance" and "boundaries" coming my way.

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