Shifting the focus

I was feeling particularly unprepared to interpret. But, there I was, standing on the stage, struggling through, feeling completely inept and unqualified for the task at hand (no pun intended!)

Then, my focus shifts to the boy in the front row - to the Joy in my son, as he dances before God..... or perhaps it was the embarrassment, as he boogied up onto the stage to hug my left leg.

Either way, I noticed: When I shifted the focus off of my self - off of my own insecurities in my abilities, the signs come off my hands without a problem....

Thinking back to this day - which occurred over the summer- is a good reminder for me today. Sunday is quickly approaching, and I have no idea what the music will be. Talking about feeling "particularly unprepared to interpret". Usually, I have had a few days to review the music, and get it "into my body" and the lyrics onto my hands. Doesn't appear like that will occur this week.

Oh - did I mention that this week there is also a children's program, and they'll be rehearsing when the band usually does.

And, did I also mention that my mother is here from out of town. She's never seen me interpret before.... oh... no pressure...

I will say, though, I am pleased to realize that my first instinct is NOT to just dump it into the other interpreter's - the real interpreter's - lap. My first instinct is to pray over and over again, that there will be some music I *do* know.... and mostly, that I will be able to remove my Self from the equation, and fully rely on God.

Help me to remember... it's so not about me and what I can or cannot do....

It's all about You...

Back to Basics

There are definitely times to get back to basics. When the schedule gets packed a little too full, when life becomes a little unmanageable and my patience runs thin - It's time to get back to basics.

For me, the basics are:

Powerlessness: I can't do it. I can't make it happen or not happen. I can't make people do or not do anything. It is the realization that "control" - for me - is an illusion.

Yes, there are things I can do to improve my situation. I can get adequate rest, eat healthy foods, and get out and do the things that keep me fit - physically and spiritually. (Fortunately, a walk is good for both of those!) I can influence my environment - and my schedule - in a positive manner, but ultimately, I can't control any of it.

But, fortunately, next on the list:

He can: I can trust in the sovereignty of God. There is Hope and there is Justice. Taking time to be with and to focus on God, is really, really healing for me.

Finally, I can surrender. I can quit trying to do things my way, and step into line with His plan. Not nearly as simple to implement as it sounds. But, once I quit fighting it, life is much, much easier.

May I follow where you lead. May I walk on the path that You have chosen for me...