Reaching Forward, Reaching Back

I had the honor recently of giving a massage to a pregnant woman. We had seen each other more frequently in years past, but it had been a while since we'd been together. It was such a gift to me, to be able to work with her again. It was a sweet moment too, when she started asking me about my pregnancy and my delivery.

It reminded me that we are not isolated individuals here on this planet. We are set here to love each other. To encourage each other. To walk beside each other.

When I was pregnant, I asked those who had been there before me. Now, is my opportunity to answer the questions of the first-time mom-to-be. I now look to the mothers with older children to ask my questions - and I share my experiences of my children's younger years when someone ask me.

It's how we learn. It's how we realized that we WILL live through whatever phase we're in.

I've heard it said that I should "find someone who has what [I] want and ask them how they got there". I've done that especially in my walk with God.

The times that have been especially helpful to me are the times when I'm walking through something really difficult. Without a doubt, someone inevitably appears who either has experienced the same thing, or has the ability to simply walk beside me. Someone who has struggled and allowed someone else to walk beside them.

It is an opportunity to minister to each other. To nurture, to mentor, to encourage, to support.

It is a gift. I have been fortunate to be on both ends - reaching forward and reaching back.

Loving "Testy"

Beth (Moore) spent a lot of time talking about "Testy" at our weekend retreat. "Testy" is the descriptor for the people in our lives who are a challenge to love. We do, but it's hard work. We often leave feeling exhausted or craving something to ease our discomfort.

She says - and I concur - that these people are hand picked and placed in our lives with a specific purpose.... to bring out the worst in us. Once it is brought out, God can pluck it away.

She encouraged us to remember that "something is broken in Testy", and to ask for insight. Insight brings compassion, and makes it easier to extend love to them.

"Testy" people also remind us to deal with our issues, or we will become "Testy" as well. In my life, I have found that the people who bug me the most are the ones who have the most to teach me... usually about the same issue that annoys me the most in them. The ol' "you spot it, you got it". Oh yeah. Been there, done that...

It is often painful, and certainly a challenge. There have been times when I have KNOWN that a person had shown up in my life for a reason. I have known they are God-placed, and yet I have prayed and prayed hard that He would removed the heart-connect, or the relationship. "I am happy to work them, Lord, very kindly, I will work with them, but please don't ask me to love them...." "Request denied. Love them well...."

"Show me, Lord...."

Give me wisdom and insight. Help me see clearly through Your eyes. Give me undeniable opportunities to "love them well". Lead and I will follow.

Being Filled.... Loving Well

You will all be pleased to know that I have been truly blessed by the first night of fellowship with some women from my church. We have begun Beth Moore's "Loving Well" retreat in a box, and I have left with joy and enthusiasm.

On my mile drive to the church, I considered topics for today's blog. The only thing that came to mind was the most unusual phone call I got that afternoon...."Uhm... someone thinks my neighbor might be dead in his house.... will you come with me to check?" My answer "of course!" (one of the hazards of being a medical professional). Fortunately, he was very much alive. However, suffice it to say that in the 20 minutes between her request and our assessment, God and I had quite a dialog. I prayed for clarity...and we expressed much gratitude when the task was complete! Thank you, God for life and small favors!

But, no... God has spared you my thoughts and fears with that one, by providing a wonderful evening.

I was invited to be part of the "spa" experience by bringing my massage chair. People seldom realize that I receive much in giving massage. I feel honored to be allowed to participate - to touch - and enjoy being present with people as I work. It is a gift to me, and as always, I leave feeling better than when I arrived.

As they sat in my chair, Beth Moore was before me on the big screen. She was talking about Loving Well - of course - and the people that come into our lives that we will be challenged to love... only some of which will be a Joy. (If you don't know, or don't remember, the title of the study itself assured me that God would speak to me through it, based on experience with similar words.)

She said many things that I needed to hear, that pierced my heart or made me say "oh yeah...!" (or "oh boy!") The 0ne thing that she said that really resonated with me was this:

"In order to love well, we must be well loved"

We can't give what we don't have. If we have bandaged or blockaded our hearts in order to protect them from worldly hurts, we often also prevent ourselves from truly experiencing God's unconditional love for us.

She encouraged each of us to allow God to fill us up. Not only by making and taking time to be with Him and allowing HIM to heal and protect our hearts, but also by not discounting or rejecting His love because of our shame, guilt or pride.

Sometimes it feels selfish - or lazy - to just sit and be with Him. There is so much else in the world that needs doing. Some of it is REALLY GOOD stuff. Some of it is busy-work. Either way, it reminds me of Mary and Martha.

I want to sit, like Mary, at His feet, quietly in His presence, not busily caught up in the list of "must do"s. I want to savor His presence, not become resentful of my sister who does.

For it is there that I will be healed, filled, restored. There I will find peace. There I will experience the love that has been so graciously extended to me.... even when I'm "testy".

There I will learn to love well, as I experience what it means to be well loved.